The following is an age-old tale of forbidden love, with the same lamentable ending as all the others.

* * *

When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe
Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say'st,
'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.'

--John Keats, Ode on a Grecian Urn

I wish I could believe Keats was right. I wish that simple formula--Find The Beautiful, Be A Winner--were actually true. But look at the world. The truth is, sometimes The Ugly kicks ass. Microsoft. MySpace. George Steinbrenner. Barry Bonds.

* * *

Confession: I am in love with B.J. Upton.

It was love at first sight. I have yet to lay eyes on Upton on TV (for who watches the Devil Rays on TV?), but here is what I said when I first laid eyes on him in person last August:

..even though Loaiza had Upton befuddled most of the afternoon, striking him out three times, I kinda fell in love with Upton anyway. His swing is so quick and smooth, it's quite a lovely thing to behold. I think he has the most aesthetically pleasing swing I've seen in years.

I saw that swing again yesterday at the Oakland Coliseum. My feelings intensified. I love, love, love B.J. Upton's swing. I think could watch it for days and nights on end. I have not heard anyone else say such a thing about him, so perhaps it doesn't show up on TV, or perhaps it's just the simple blindness of human love and infatuation, but I find his swing to be unbelievably, intensely captivating.

I am a diehard A's fan. I am not supposed to fall in love with a member of a rival clan. This is heresy; it can only lead to pain and suffering. But who can help who they fall in love with? I am Tristan, having drunk the potion to fall in love with the already betrothed Isolde. I am Romeo, in love with Juliet, the daughter of my family's most bitter enemy. B.J. Upton does not play for my team, but I find his swing to be the most beautiful swing I have ever seen.

'Tis but your team that is my enemy;
You are yourself, though, not a Devil Ray.
What's a Devil Ray? It has no hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, join some other team!
What's in a team? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So B.J. would, were he not Devil Ray called,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. O, B.J., doff your team,
And for that team which is no part of you
Take all myself.

And perhaps all is well when the object of my affection fails to do any damage against my own clan, but oh, the bittersweet pain when this beautiful swing turns into a three-run home run that sends my own team to defeat:

* * *

B.J. Upton is short and lean and graceful, in a time when baseball players are, in increasing numbers, tall and bulky and powerful. How can Upton compete against men who are seemingly twice his size? Can grace and beauty defeat ugly, brute strength?

Perhaps that's why I've fallen in love with Upton; I want so badly to believe that it can. Evolution has seen fit to wire us, for some reason, to seek out beauty, to prefer it over ugliness. Evolution has the wisdom of millenia behind it; it won't be fooled by sample size. Perhaps ugly only wins in the short term, because that's how ugly fights.

What if Keats was right? What if beauty does win in the end, and that's all you need to know?

Perhaps all these ugly, bulked-up-on-chemicals baseball stars will get their comeuppance in the end. The dealers will squeal, the truth will out, the names will be stained with the word of their sins, and their once-powerful glory will crumble like old, stone ruins in the desert:

And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

--P.B. Shelley, Ozymandias of Egypt

I don't want to know that a lean young man with a short, sweet stroke needs to turn into a monster to survive. I'd rather live in ignorance, to suffer the pains of defeat and betrayal and disappointment, if living with knowledge means living without beauty. I choose to believe that in the long run, only the beautiful will reveal itself to be true, and only the beautiful will be remembered as truth. Beauty is not a large monument proclaiming its own greatness. Beauty is a grain of sand, blowing in the wind.

Blah blah blah bad offense. Blah blah blah lifeless effort. Blah blah blah doomed.

And that pretty much sums it up. The only thing worse than watching the broadcast of the A's go through the motions against the Devil Rays? Seeing it in person. Guess how I wound up spending my Friday evening?

Game 23: Devil Rays 4, A's 1

Your Pitchers of Record: WP -- J. Shields (2-0) LP -- C. Gaudin (1-1) S -- Reyes (8)

Went Deep: Crosby (2)

Your Room Temperature Corona Star of the Game: It's hard at this point to tell when a pitcher manages to shut down the A's because he's in top form or because he has the advantage of... well... facing the A's. We'll give James Shields the benefit of the doubt, considering he notched 12 strikeouts in his last start against an Indians team that hits the ball much better than this Oakland outfit. Eight innings of four-hit, nine-strikeout pitching is impressive no matter who you're facing.

The Turning Point: I could point out the bottom of the first, where the A's had runners at the corners with one out, thanks to a blooper-reel-worthy throw by Dioner Navarro, and still came away without a run. But I have hammered on the A's offense too much lately -- certainly more than the A's have hammered opposing pitchers.

So let's look at a pitching staff miscue -- that'd be in the third inning, when the Devil Rays failed to record a hit, and yet, still plated two runners. (Thanks to a pair of Chad Gaudin walks, a double-steal, a run-scoring ground-out to third, and a passed ball.) That put the score at 4-1 Tampa, where it would stay the rest of the evening.

Continue reading...

Marcus McBeth is one of the players named later in the trade with Cincinnati for the injured Chris Denorfia. McBeth is a converted outfielder with a rocket arm, who has shot up through the system quickly since his conversion to the mound. He reportedly has a killer changeup to go with his hard heat. So Billy Beane is now trading young players with upside for injured minor leaguers who are about to start the decline phase of their careers? Even straight up, I don't get this one. And there's still one more player to be named.

If I have to make up an explanation, it would go like this:

• The A's are organizationally thin in center field. Bradley and Kotsay are injury-prone. Bradley will be a free agent next year, Kotsay the year after that. The A's first attempt to fill this hole, Charles Thomas, was a big flop. The A's best CF prospects, Javier Herrera and Jermaine Mitchell, are currently still in single-A.
   
• The A's are not confident about re-signing Bradley, nor about Kotsay's ability to return from his back surgery.
   
• Denorfia has some awesome numbers in the A's super-duper-secret defensive measuring system.
   
• The A's have depth with minor league relievers, so they could spare one.

That's reasonable, I suppose, but I still don't like it.

As noted by eagle-eyed reader For The Turnstiles in the comments section of this post, Billy Beane has headed our calls for action and acquired a player via trade. And what a trade!

The Oakland A's today acquired outfielder Chris Denorfia from the Cincinnati Reds in exchange for two players to be named later and cash considerations. Denorfia was on the Reds 60-day Disabled List and will be moved to the A's 60-day DL.

Denorfia adds important depth to our disabled list.

Let's just combine both games against the Mariners into one big ol' Game Summary. In essence the Wednesday and Thursday contests were the same game anyhow -- solid performances by all the starters, with Seattle getting key hits and the A's getting... well, very few hits, let alone key ones. At least at an hour and 47 minutes, Wednesday's game had the advantage of getting to the undesirable result much quicker.

One disastrous writeup for two disastrous games, coming up, after the jump...

Continue reading...

The A's just got mini-swept by the Mariners. Now the Tampa Bay Devil Rays come to town. I thought I'd just cut and paste a few things. Please to enjoy.

Sure, the A's might improve on their current .217 average with RISP and 2 outs. I keep waiting for our luck to even out. But I've been waiting over two years now, and the A's keep regressing to Detroit instead of to the mean.

So far this year, it looks like the same old stuff as the last two years. How much longer should I hold onto my faith in regression to the mean before I give up and declare this a flaw in the design? [1]

...and...

It's a pretty sad state of affairs when you're watching your team play against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and you suddenly realize that the Rays might have the better team. That probably wouldn't be the case if the A's were healthy. But here we are.

Let's look at some rankings:
Offense, OPS: A's 14th, Rays 7th.
...

The A's pitch better, the Rays hit better. Not much news there. [2]

...and then...

The good news is that the A's finished April just a half game out of first place in the AL West. In fact, it's more than just good news, it's miraculous news. With the exception of Nick Swisher and Eric Chavez, it has seemed like a Murphy's Law kind of month for the A's.

So far, the A's have suffered injuries to Rich Harden, Esteban Loaiza, Huston Street, Justin Duchscherer, Jay Witasick, Bobby Crosby and Milton Bradley. And beyond that, all but a handful of players have been performing below (and in many cases, far below) expectations.

...

If the A's at least avoid any long losing streaks until Harden comes back, I will be happy. Just hang around in the race, until the pieces are in place, and things start to click. The A's don't need miracles to win the division. They just need good health, and performances that at least somewhat resemble expectations. [3]

Bibliography:
[1] Ken Arneson, April 21, 2004
[2] Ken Arneson, May 24, 2005
[3] Ken Arneson, April 30, 2006

If I were Adam Melhuse, I'd be doing more than "grumbling" about being sent to the minors. I'd be pulling a full-fledged Brad Halsey, or worse.

I suppose if you're like Melhuse, and you don't make a major league roster until you're 28 years old, you're grateful for any opportunity to spend time on a 25-man roster, even if you're stuck behind an iron man catcher like Jason Kendall. But Melhuse has talent, and I find it terribly unfair that he's hardly had any chance to see what he can do with it. He's only had one year (2004) where he was given over 200 at-bats; he put up an OPS of .772. For a catcher, that's damn good. Production like that could get you a starting job on probably 10 teams in any given year. The following year, however, Kendall shows up, and ever since, Melhuse has only gotten a handful of at-bats a week. It's hard to keep your timing with that kind of playing time. Maybe Melhuse is washed up now at age 35, but how could anyone tell?

There's something terribly wrong with a system that allows a team to send a 35-year-old man to the minor leagues, without giving him any choice about how to manage his career. The MLBPA needs to do something about this in their next collective bargaining agreement; all minor league options should expire once a player hits a certain age, say 31 or 32. Every player should get at least one shot during his peak free-agent years to avoid falling into the Hall of Could Have Been by mere circumstance.

There are plenty of teams (the Yankees come to mind) that could use a solid backup catcher like Adam Melhuse. He deserves a chance to play, and a chance to cash in on his talent, and the opportunity to find a team willing to give him that chance. He deserves to be a free agent.

Free Adam Melhuse!

So I had this whole big Broadway production number planned about the history of the screwball in honor of surprise A's starter Dallas Braden, only to discover via the Chronicle's game report that the rookie hardly even used the screwgie. So now what I'm supposed to write about? Nick Swisher's hamstring? I'll take a pass, thanks.

So instead, here's an up-close-and-personal look at the pitch Dallas Braden didn't throw all that much of. I'll be damned if I unearthed my copy of The Neyer/James Guide to Pitchers for nothing.

Rob Neyer concludes his chapter on the screwball by writing, "when you see one, treasure the moment. Because it may be your last." A's fans have actually seen a bit of the screwball in recent years -- before Braden came along, Jim Mecir relied on the pitch, though I'm not sure Jim Mecir on the mound is a moment that any A's fan should be expected to treasure.

I also happened to live in Los Angeles during the height of Fernandomania. I was but a lad at the time, though I remember two things about Fernando Valenzuela's screwball: 1) He learned it from Bobby Castillo, which is undoubtedly Castillo's greatest accomplishment in baseball; and 2) Every time Valenzuela threw the screwgie, my father predicted dire arm troubles were in his future.

Turned out my old man was right. Indeed in his Guide to Pitchers chapter, Neyer lists some of the great screwball specialists in history, noting that really only Mike Cuellar pitched effectively into his late thirties. Christy Mathewson, Carl Hubbell, Fernando -- all of them kept pitching to one degree or another, but they all became fairly average pitchers as they hit their early- to mid-30s.

It is not so hard to figure out why screwball pitchers don't enjoy Satchel Paige-like bouts of longevity, according to Neyer:

If you don't believe that throwing a screwball puts a strain on your arm, I want you to conduct a little experiment (don't worry, it'll take just a few seconds and doesn't involve a Bunsen burner).

First raise your right arm, with your elbow pointing toward third base (work with me here) and your hand pointing straight up.

Now, quickly bring your hand forward and downward, and just as your arm is nearly straight, twist your wrist violently clockwise, so that your palm winds up facing skyward and your thumb is pointing toward third base.

Not bad, huh? That was a curveball.

Now, start over and do the same thing... except instead of twisting your wrist clockwise, twist it counter-clockwise.

Hurts a little, doesn't it? That's a screwball.

So that's one reason you don't see that pitch much these days -- it hurts like hell over time and there are other pitches (the split-finger fastball, its cousin the forkball, and the circle change) that more or less do the same thing with the added benefit of not crippling you. Also, Neyer points out, it's not the easiest pitch in the world to learn.

Now how Dallas Braden picked up the pitch given all these obstacles, I do not know. But I'm hoping those details emerge the longer he sticks with the club. I also hope to see just how big a part of his repertoire the screwball actually is -- might be worth a trip out to the Coliseum Sunday to see for myself.

In the meantime, as Ryan noted in February, the A's are amassing themselves quite the impressive army of gimmick pitches -- screwball-tossing Dallas Braden, side-arming Jay Marshall, and Kaz Tadano and his amazing, stupefying eephus pitch. Quick -- someone teach Chad Gaudin to throw the hesitation pitch or Justin Duchscherer to toss one of them Bugs Bunny one-two-three-strikes-yer-out slowballs, and we'll be assured of having the most colorful pitching staff in the league, if nothing else.

Continue reading...

We had some guests over on Sunday for something my wife has dubbed Pie Fight Club. The idea is that we grab four similar pies -- strawberry, in this particular case -- from pie shops and diners from around the area, remove them from their boxes, and hold a blind tasting to determine whose pie reigns supreme. This is a very serious business, I might add, with millions of dollars in pie sales and the reputations of eateries across the Bay Area at stake.

Anyhow, the event was in full swing as the A's went about blowing Sunday's game to the Rangers. And, considering the fact that we had company, I think I held my emotions in check, except maybe for the moment when Nick Swisher struck out looking for the second out of the ninth, and I interrupted the conversations going on around me by shouting out, "Damnit, Nick, you've got to swing the [especially filthy expletive deleted] bat." You can imagine this was quite a shocking thing to hear for one of our guests, also named Nick, who is a lovely fellow who would never, ever strike out with the bat on his shoulder and the tying run in scoring position. I apologized profusely to Nick, explaining that my outburst was not aimed at him, but rather an entirely different Nick playing a game thousands of miles away from my living room, making him unable to hear me, even though my voice carries very well.

So that was kind of awkward, yeah.

But otherwise, Pie Fight Club was a success, with the strawberry pie from Nation's Giant Hamburgers taking top honors, just ahead of Marie Calendar's offering. (You can read the blow-by-blow account here.)

Nation's, as you may or may not know, is a radio sponsor of the A's. Indeed, in an especially appropriate twist, I heard a Nation's commercial on my way to the local Nation's to pick up what turned out to be the winning pie. Which is when I discovered that not only has Bob Geren replaced Ken Macha in the A's dugout, he's also usurped the silver-haired one's role as the Nation's spokesman. In fact the commercial I heard -- not the one linked to in the preceding sentence -- featured the exact same copy Ken Macha used to read in his clipped Western Pennsylvania staccato. ("People say I have a great rotation, but it's nothing like the rotation they've got at Nation's... and just when you think you've got them figured out, they throw you a curve.")

To me, this the cruelest twist of all to Macha's ouster. Yes, you can assail his bizarre pitching moves or his passivity on the bench or his frosty relationships with players. But there is one thing about Ken Macha's managerial career in Oakland that is beyond dispute -- he loved those Nation's hamburgers. In that one ad where he runs through the signs -- "A pat on the stomach means it's time to head to Nation's!" -- you could tell that this was not merely an act. In fact, I bet the A's did have a sign for a Nation's hamburger run when Ken Macha was manager, which would explain all those botched bunts.

It seems cruel to take that away from him now, just because he's not the A's manager. Surely some arrangement could have been made -- Geren gets the manager's gig, but Macha gets to keep the Nation's spots. Yes, you'd have to rewrite the ad copy somewhat ("Hi, I'm Ken Macha. When I'm not cursing Billy Beane's name, I'm biting into a delicious Nation's pie. The only taste sweeter will be my eventual revenge.") but I have confidence that the copywriters can rise to the challenge.

And I hope on the next A's broadcast I don't hear Bob Geren touting the merits of Comcast-on-Demand or Fitzpatrick Hummer -- otherwise, it will just be too humiliating for poor Macha if Geren winds up with every one of his old sponsorships.

And speaking of that Hummer ad... it's my considered opinion that particular radio spot was what fractured the relationship between the former A's manager and Mark Kotsay, who was among the most vocal critics of Macha's interpersonal skills. If you remember, the ad features Macha and Kotsay extolling the virtues of Fitzpatrick Hummer -- Macha notes that he was allowed to drive on the test track, which Kotsay reacts to with a mixture of incredulity and disdain. "They let you drive on the test track, Skip?"

I imagine that the director yelled cut, and, as everyone was congratulating each other on a job well done, Macha turned to his outfielder and demanded, "What the hell was that about?"

"What do you mean, Skip?"

"That business about me being allowed to drive on the test track. How dare you."

"Look, Skip, I'm just reading the script here..."

"You're dead to me, Kotsay!"

And, of course, the situation just deteriorated from there.

So my message to A's advertisers is this -- promote your product however you want, but please stop sowing discord among A's players and management. I sure don't want to be listening to a game in the next few days when an ad for Kaiser Permanente comes on featuring Brad Halsey and Bill Beane. "If you'd only have sent me here in early March, I'd be pitching for the big club by now," Halsey would say. "I sure hope Kaiser has facilities in Durham," Beane would retort. "Because I've just traded you to the Devil Rays." That would be too, too awkward for everyone.

Woefully, woefully behind on the game summaries. Part of the problem is, like many of the A's, I've suffered an injury -- a recurrence of a foot problem I've been battling since November. I should be able to avoid any time on the DL, but I hear Ken might call up the Game Summary writer from Midland in a few days.

Also, I've taken some time off to finish my first one-act play. I call it "The April 23rd Game Between Oakland and Baltimore," and I share it now with you. Enjoy.

Dramatis personae
---
Baltimore, a Major League Baseball team
Oakland, another Major League Baseball team

The curtain rises on a baseball field in Baltimore's Inner Harbor. Baltimore enters from stage right. Oakland enters from stage left.

Baltimore: Greetings, good sir. I bid you welcome to my baseball stadium.

Oakland: Thank you, hospitable stranger. It is indeed a lovely ballfield.

Baltimore: You honor me, sir. As a token of my appreciation, please accept this five-run lead on behalf of my shaky starting pitcher.

Oakland: That's awfully kind of you. But really, I didn't bring anything for you...

Baltimore: No matter, sir. You are a guest here.

Oakland: But still, I feel quite the ill-mannered baboon. I know! Here's a run for you! And another! And two more still!

Baltimore: Sir, you embarrass me! I insist that you have this insurance run. Surely, the game is decided, so this extra run I give you is meaningless.

Oakland: Not so, my fine fellow. Not if I give you this fifth run and allow you back into the game with this six...

Baltimore: Halt, scoundrel! You try my patience. I will not accept your sixth run, even if it means running my way out of the inning and calling for an inexplicably ill-timed bunt.

Oakland: If you insist. I fear that I have offended you. I will be on my way. Good day to you.

Baltimore: And good day to you.

Oakland exits, stage left.

Baltimore: Aw, crap.

And scene.

Game 19: A's 6, Orioles 5

Your Pitchers of Record: WP -- D. Haren (2-2) LP -- E. Bedard (3-2) S -- H. Street (5)

Went Deep: Swisher 2 (3), Roberts (1), Huff (2)

Your Eco Domani Chianti Star of the Game: Nick Swisher, for his two home runs, equally important to the outcome and from opposite sides of the plate.

The Turning Point: If you were watching the videotape footage of the final inning when Brian Roberts singled off Huston Street with runners on second and third and one out, you were treated to a curious sight -- Corey Patterson, the runner on second, running counter-clockwise on the bases. As the ball trickled past Street and into center, Patterson can clearly be seen darting back to second instead of bolting toward third. This hesitation clearly cost Baltimore the tying run -- Patterson scores easily if he doesn't hesitate -- and ultimately the game. And if there was a reason for it, other than good old fashioned brain-lock, I don't know what it could be. Even if Bobby Crosby manages to field the ball, he's running away from third and would probably try for the out at first -- Patterson would be safe at third easily. I hope Corey Patterson isn't taking this observation as criticism -- the play worked out swimmingly for me.

Besides, the batter that immediately followed, Melvin Mora, didn't do Baltimore any favors when he decided to bunt, apparently on his own initiative. On the bright side, he certainly had the element of surprise; on the down side, Patterson was among the surprised. He stuck close to third while Huston Street fielded the bunt and threw Mora out. (We should add that Street's throw was rushed, and it took a pretty sweet play from Todd Walker at first to secure the out.)

You don't often see a team shoot itself in the foot like that on successive plays, but I don't think the A's should feel obliged to grant the Orioles a do-over.

Le Affaire Halsey: There's a decided backlash brewing against Brad Halsey, the erstwhile fill-in starter turned disgruntled AAA rotation filler, for loosing his venom on the A's after the team either forced him to pitch on a bum arm until it came time to pay him a Major-League salary (Halsey's take) or passed him over on a promotion to the big club in favor of a more deserving candidate (Billy Beane's version). There's been a predictable amount of we-keep-you-alive-to-serve-the-ship-row-well-and-live talk directed at Halsey from some sections of the fanbase. One thing that's hard to overlook, for me anyhow: if the facts of the matter are as Halsey outlines, dude's kind of got a legitimate beef.

All in All: I TiVo'ed the game, fully expecting to enjoy it in all its time-shifted splendor. And I was certainly on my way to doing just that, with the A's up 5-1, when I happened to browse over to the wrong Web site and notice the 6-5 final score. "6 to 5?" I said out loud. "How on earth did the game get that close?" So I kept watching to see how things unfolded, which allowed me to watch the ninth inning with a certain detachment, since I knew things would turn out A-OK. It was easier on my nerves a little bit, though not as much as you might think.

The number of injuries the A's suffer every year is ridiculous, and when they cluster at one position, you have to think there's some cruel joke going on. Right now, Mark Kotsay is on the DL, Milton Bradley is on the DL, Bobby Kielty is unavailable with a sore calf, and Travis Buck is out with sore wrists. So, of course, in the top of the first inning of today's A's-Orioles game, Nick Swisher strains his left hamstring, and has to leave the game.

So with no available outfielders left on the bench, Marco Scutaro replaced Swisher in the lineup, and went into right field. Danny Putnam, who is primarily a corner outfielder but has played a few games in center in the minors, moved over to center.

Anybody care to give up a centerfielder for Brad Halsey?

Well, you knew going in that this was inevitable, just like you know that at some point this season, Bobby Crosby will get hurt, too. It's just the way things are.

The A's added two new players to the 25- and 40-man rosters, Dallas Braden and Danny Putnam. Mark Kotsay goes to the 60-day DL to make room for one, and Scott Dunn was released to make room for the other. Dunn was a minor-league off-season signing who didn't make much of an impression this spring.

Braden is one-trick pony, a left-handed screwballer. Kevin Goldstein in a Baseball Prospectus chat said about him:

Set your way-back machine to 1981 and Fernando-mania, because Braden's best pitch is a screwball that minor league hitters have NO CLUE how to hit. Braden is certainly no Fernando because he lacks the velo to back it up, and I think big league hitters will be able to either read or lay off the pitch. I'm not overly optimistic about him, but as a 24th round pick, he's already well-exceeded expectations.

So even if Braden isn't good, he'll at least be interesting. He'll start Tuesday. Putnam seems similar to Travis Buck--corner OF, can take a walk, doubles power--only not quite as good, and a year older. Your typical A's backup outfielder. Not much to be excited about, but if he gets anywhere near that 1.001 OPS he had in AA Midland, I'll reserve the right to change my mind and get excited later.

I suppose if you're into soap operas, Brad Halsey ripping the A's organization about being passed over for this assignment are worth getting excited about. How's this for juicy:

"It's all just a business decision, because if I came up and pitched Tuesday and then had an MRI and had to go on the DL, they'd have to pay me major-league DL money. It's such a mom-and-pop organization."

...

"I'm going to get my arm healthy and hopefully I'll start throwing baseballs for someone else."

Hmm...how does a Jose Capellan-for-Brad Halsey trade of disgruntled minor leaguers sound to you, Doug Melvin?

Today's game summary is brought to you with the able assistance of Susan Slusser's game report in the San Francisco Chronicle:

[The A's] held a two-run lead in the eighth inning, but the Rangers scored three runs against Oakland's top two relievers, Justin Duchscherer and Huston Street, to rally for a 4-3 victory and the series win.

Guh.

Game 18: Rangers 4, A's 3

Your Pitchers of Record: WP -- W. Eyre (1-0) LP -- J. Duchscherer (1-1) S -- Otsuka (2)

Went Deep: Stewart (2)

Your Nation's Strawberry Pie Star of the Game:

Street, who had retired the first hitter he faced in all nine of his appearances this year, came in and got two strikes against Hank Blalock. Blalock then fished for a changeup down and away, and one-handed, dunked it into right to drive in two runs.

Bah.

The Turning Point:

Duchscherer lost his signature control and put Mark Teixeira on, and followed that with a bases-loaded walk to Sammy Sosa.

Glaaaaaaargh!

Dreaded Larry Davis Sighting:

Before the game, [the A's] learned their most talented pitcher, Rich Harden, will miss his next start. During the game, Milton Bradley left with a recurrence of the hamstring strain that cost him a week on the last homestand and that could now land him on the disabled list.

[Inaudible gurgling noise]

Worth Noting:

Chad Gaudin continued a remarkable run for the A's starting pitchers, who have not allowed more than three runs in a start for the past 16 consecutive games.

Huhm?

All in All:

"Everything was up,'' Duchscherer said. "I wasn't making pitches, I was getting balls up, I was getting behind in the count. You can't pitch like that, obviously. I just made bad pitches. Sometimes, you go out there and you don't have what you need to get people out."

[Disconsolate sigh.]

It was my wife's birthday, Saturday so just like the last time someone in the Michaels household officially hit the mid-30s. We spent the day in Monterey frolicking with otters and eating our way through the Alsace region, so we missed most of the A's game. In our defense, so did the Oakland batters, apparently.

While it seems a bit churlish to complain about a bad offensive night less than 24 hours after the A's scored 16, how can you be anything but churlish when an A's runner only gets past first base in the sixth inning? And as nice as Friday's performance was, the A's have had a lot more games like Saturday's this season. It isn't too hard to figure out what the outlier is.

Equally aggravating, neither of the A's flagship stations reach the Monterey area with any clarity -- 106.9 FM sort of came in, but it was completing for space on the FM band with a Latin music station, so most of Vince Cotroneo's play-by-play was backed by a saucy beat, when it wasn't being drowned out entirely.

"Travis Buck steps in, 0-for-2 on the night to face Wils... Mi amor robó mi corazón... ball two, inside...."

I had forgotten to check on the A's broadcast affiliates before leaving town, so I wasn't sure which station in the Monterey area picks up A's games. (KRKC 1490 AM in King City, I guess.) And as we got past Gilroy, the regular A's stations started coming in stronger. Just in time for me to hear the Rangers put away the game with five runs in the eighth, lucky me.) But while scanning the dial, I came across the broadcast of the Angels-Mariners game coming in clear as a bell. Ken Korach and Vince Cotroneo may be broadcasting from a boat anchored out in international waters, but Rory Markus and Terry Smith are apparently hovering over my car no matter where I travel to. Again -- lucky me.

One of these days, Lew Wolff is going to announce that the A's new broadcast deal is to have Ken Korach talking on the other end of a tin can and string or Robert Buan standing up on top of Mt. Davis signaling the play-by-play with semaphore flags, and I will not be the least bit surprised.

Game 17: Rangers 7, A's 0

Your Pitchers of Record: WP -- K. Loe (1-0) LP -- J. Kennedy (0-2)

Went Deep: Kata (2)

Your King Estate Pinot Noir Star of the Game: Apparently this was Kameron Loe's first start of the year, and 5 1/3 innings of shutout baseball is a pretty good way to solidify your place in the rotation. Then again, C.J. Wilson did put down the A's only offensive threat of the night by striking out Eric Chavez and Milton Bradley with the bases loaded in the sixth.

Hmmm. Loe or Wilson? Wilson or Loe? What say you, Dalls Morning News?

... this night was all about Loe, who proved he was ready to start when his turn came.

Fair enough. They saw the game, after all. I was busy eating beef rouladen.

The Turning Point: You don't have to watch the game to know that having your two big hitters strike out with the bases loaded is not a recipe for winning baseball games.

A less obvious moment occurred in the Rangers half of the seventh, when Texas had runners on first and second with one out. Alan Embree wound up walking Gerald Laird and his formidable sub-.200 on-base percentage; that would allow Nelson Cruz to score on Jerry Hairston's fly ball, putting Texas out in front 2-zip. I suppose a two-run lead in Texas is hardly a secure one, but the way the A's were swinging the bats Saturday, it's about as close to secure as you are going to get. Just to be sure, the A's coughed up another five runs in the eighth. Sheesh.

Dreaded Jamie Reed Sighting: Pitching with a seven-run lead in the ninth -- had to get his work in, I guess -- Eric Gagne had a back spasm, requiring a visit from the Rangers' trainer.

I just wanted to see what it felt like to write one of these things without mentioning Larry Davis. Kind of weird, actually.

Phil's Not-So Phun Phacts: Heard this from Ken Korach during the warm-up for Sunday's game: apparently, this is the second time in A's history that the team has followed up a 16-run outburst by getting shut out the following game.

All in All: Every time the A's score 10 or more runs, I usually mutter something along the lines of "save some for tomorrow." The A's never seem to take my sage advice.

The A's ensured that I would be unable to use my "This offense just doesn't score enough" macro by ringing up 16 runs against the Rangers. Indeed, the A's offense -- which, this season, tends put up a crooked number early and then take its foot off the gas -- scored eight in the second, two in fourth, and six more in the eighth for an honest-to-goodness laugher at the expense of former third-base coach Ron Washington.

Naturally, the game wasn't on TV back in the Bay Area so the home-town fans have no video evidence of this rare offensive outburst.

In fact, this was the first game of the season that I was completely shut out of -- no TV, no radio, only a fleeting glimpse at the Web and then the out-of-town scoreboard at Phone Company Park to keep me apprised of the situation in Arlington. Yes, I spent Friday night at the Giants-Diamondbacks game, watching San Francisco's 4-2 win in the lap of luxury.

My company, you see, has a handful of tickets in the Club Level at Phone Company Field. These are the seats where, when the action on the field fails to entertain, you can repair to the lounge where an assortment of hand-carved sandwiches and tomato bisques and beverages, alcoholic and un-, await your consumption. Or if you prefer, you can dispatch one of the ushers to fetch you an order of garlic fries, lest you miss a single at-bat.

Most of the time, these seats are allocated to Important Men discussing Important Deals. "So it's decided," one of them will declare. "Johnson will control the molasses trade west of the Mississippi and McShane will agree to extend political protection from the judges he controls. Now let us cement this new understanding with some chocolate sundaes from the Ghirardelli stand. Garcon!"

Anyhow, the Important Men don't always use these seats -- when you're out doing Important Things, you don't have time for such trivialities of baseball -- so sometimes these seats are distributed amongst the peons. And there is no one more peon-like than me. So I grabbed the free ticket and sat among the swells. And I enjoyed my hand-carved barbecue beef sandwich while watching a strange version of baseball in which the pitcher is forced to bat. And I spent a good deal of the Giants game watching the out-of-town scoreboard and hoping that the inning number would flip to "F" before Texas mounted one of those comebacks that is oh-so-common at the Ballpark at Arlington No Longer Named After Ameriquest.

Looks like I got my wish.

Continue reading...

You score sixteen runs, and what do you get?
Another win closer... but they're not there yet.

[with apologies to Merle Travis]

-- - --

Brandon McCarthy in April 2007: 10.20 ERA, 2.07 WHIP, 15.0 IP, 25 hits, 17 ER, 6 BB, 7 K

Esteban Loaiza in April 2006: 8.35 ERA, 2.13 WHIP, 18.1 IP, 30 hits, 17 ER, 9 BB, 6 K

Fair comparison? McCarthy is not this bad, and will rebound. It's nice to get a W in the launching pad at Arlington, though. Oakland went 5-5 on the road against the Rangers last season.

-- - --

And now, some trivia about past games in which Oakland has scored 16 runs:

Since 1957, there have been 13 games in which the A's have scored exactly 16 runs. They are 12-1 in those games, with the only loss coming in 2000 in a slugfest won by Texas 17-16.

The last season in which Oakland scored at least 16 runs was way back in 2005, when they did it twice. Many still fondly recall the 16-0 beatdown of the Giants in June -- a game in which a fresh-off-the-DL Rich Harden gave up one hit and the A's banged out 23.

The last time the A's scored 16 was at a game I happened to have attended. Oakland was in Kansas City to visit the Royals in the midst of another headlong rush at 100 losses. The one and only Jose Lima pitched, and Dan Johnson knocked out the 10th homer of his rookie season. Oh, and current Sacramento River Cat Donnie Murphy made an error for his then-employer Kansas City.

-- - --

With a double, home run and three walks, Travis Buck now leads the A's with a .440 on-base percentage. That puts him at 9th in the American League among all players with at least 50 plate appearances, while his OPS of 1.004 places him 8th in the AL. Pretty good so far for a rookie that came into the season with exactly zero at-bats above the double-A level.

Oddly enough, the last A's rookie to get on base five times in one game was Dan Johnson, in the aforementioned 16-1 win over the Kansas City Royals. Johnson had two hits and three walks, including a homer. Someone needs to warn Buck about the dangers of sunscreen in your eyes, and soon.

With no game to summarize and the prospect of talking about Dan Johnson's hip too dreary to contemplate, let us turn our attention to the always riveting subject of fantasy baseball.

As readers who've committed every word ever posted on this site can tell you, Ken has a Yahoo-based fantasy baseball league; both Ryan and I are participants, and you do not have to be proficient at math to realize the implications of this -- every member of the Catfish Stew Galaxy of Bloggers is participating in this fantasy league.

Along with some other people. I guess. But it's the participation of the three of us that's piqued my interest.

Fans of 1890s baseball will remember the the Temple Cup, the trophy presented to the winner of an ill-considered post-season series between the winner of the National League and the runner-up. I recently read Where They Ain't, a nifty little history of the original Baltimore Orioles, and the Temple Cup figures prominently in the book, as the Orioles always seemed to be losing it every year. The problem with the Temple Cup is that pennant winner was usually uninspired -- and hung-over -- after winning the prize that mattered, so that the second-place team, more often than not, took home the trophy. And who wants to see second-place teams constantly beating out the clubs that bested them during the regular season? The post-season series withered on the vine and took the Temple Cup with it.

(Mini-review of Where They Ain't: Painstakingly researched, it paints an excellent picture of the times and it's a pretty good read if you can get past the author's unfortunate decision to adopt the turn-of-the-century patois. Pitchers become twirlers, fans become cranks, and passages like "[The Orioles] had come to Savannah expecting a cherry pie" and "Best of all was the Orioles' snap and ginger" dot the prose. Folks who are interested in old-timey baseball, the Orioles, the Brooklyn Dodgers (who feature prominently in the narrative) or Baltimore of the 1890s will find it a worthwhile read.)

So back when Ryan joined the league, I proposed a Temple Cup-like trophy be awarded to whichever Catfish Stew blogger finished ahead of the other two. Since neither Ken nor Ryan responded, I interpreted their silence to be assent. And so I set out to find an appropriate totem, something that, like the Temple Cup before it, would represent the majesty, the pride and the ultimate insignificance of this accomplishment.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is that trophy.

This handsome devil is Cesar Izturis, currently of the Chicago Cubs, but formerly of the Los Angeles Dodgers. One lovely June night in 2005, the Dodgers decided to honor him with a bobblehead. Maybe it was because of his 2004 Gold Glove award or his .302 on-base percentage in 106 games of the 2005 season or the fact that he's a nice fellow who probably pays his fair share of taxes. Nevertheless, he gets a bobblehead as a testament to how much the Dodger organization valued and appreciated him, at least until Greg Maddux became available as a rent-a-player. The tale of how I came into possession of this bobblehead follows after the fold.

And so, at the end of the 2007 season, this bobblehead of Cesar Izturis will be removed from its place of honor in my office, where Cesar currently looks down from a bookcase and nods in approval at all my wise decisions, and presented to whichever Catfish Stew writer finishes with the best record in Fantasy League play. As of this writing, that would be me -- I'm not only ahead of Ken and Ryan, but leading the whole damn league. I mention this not to boast but because I will soon be plummeting back to earth. This week, Ken's team is facing mine in head-to-head competition, and he's currently making like King Arthur to my Black Knight. This doubtlessly begins my inexorable slide to the cellar, so I might as well get my boasting in now because in a few weeks it's going to be, "Fan-tas-see baseball? I am unfamiliar with this game."

Continue reading...

The A's set aside the Angels with such rapid dispatch on Thursday that I had hardly finished the writeup for Game 14 before Game 15 was in the books. This is what happens when you pair up two teams who aren't very good at hitting the ball. (The Angels are currently batting .200 with runners in scoring position; the A's, .212.) In this particular series, the resistible force overcame the moveable object, and while the view from above .500 is certainly better than the view below, let's not fool ourselves into thinking this is a very good team right now. Except for the pitching, which is very, very, very good.

Game 15: A's 3, Angels 0

Your Pitchers of Record: WP -- D. Haren (1-2) LP -- J. Lackey (2-1) S -- H. Street (4)

Went Deep: Oakland's streak of games with home runs ends at 2. A shame, too, since the A's are currently last in the American League in slugging percentage.

You Coca-Cola Star of the Game: Seven innings of four-hit, shutout baseball earn Dan Haren the top prize. That he was able to outpitch noted A's killer John Lackey -- 9-2 with a 2.89 ERA in 18 starts against the green and gold -- and thus spare the Coliseum crowd the sight of an infuriating Lackey victory dance is just another testament to Haren's fine afternoon.

The Turning Point: Not a whole lot of choices in a fairly uneventful game, but I'll go with the Nick Swisher force out that plated Jason Kendall with the first run of the game. You won't see this in the box score, but the 4-6 force out probably should have been a 4-6-3 double play. (My memory has Orlando Cabrera bobbling the transfer, but I was at work so my memory could be faulty.) A double play would have meant two down in the inning, and the Angels almost certainly would have escaped the third by conceding only a run; instead with one out, and runners at the corners, Eric Chavez hit an infield single that scored Marco Scutaro, and the A's had all the runs they would need for the afternoon.

The Angels' defense was absolutely terrible in 2006. That trend appears to be ongoing into 2007.

Names Is for Tombstones, Baby: Going by Ken Korach's description on the radio, I guess that the legal name of Anaheim's starting right fielder on Wednesday is The Speedy Reggie Willits. (Though perhaps he'll have to change that to The Poor Baserunning Reggie Willits as he was retired on a 1-2-5 force out in the sixth that helped snuff out a runners-at-the-corners-one-out rally for the Angels.)

My favorite instance of this phenomena -- where a player's name takes on a series of adjectives -- was in 2003 when you could not refer to a once-promising member of the Athletics outfielder without referring to him as Disgruntled Outfielder Terrence Long. To this day, I still call him by that name -- "Hey, did you see where Disgruntled Outfielder Terrence Long is now playing for the Yankees?" I observed last year -- just like Charlie Liebrandt will always be Crafty Left-Hander Charlie Liebrandt. Is there any baseball player in your world who's been saddled with a similarly unwieldy name?

Dreaded Larry Davis Sighting: As quickly as he returned to the starting lineup, Mark Ellis disappeared. Milton Bradley remains out of the lineup, but Bob Geren promises that he'll be in Friday night's lineup or your money back. (Offer not valid to anyone who pays money to attend Friday night's game in Arlington.)

From the same Chronicle story linked above, Sacramentans (Sacramentities?) should brace themselves for the twin wonders of Esteban Loaiza and Dan Johnson will be making rehab appearances in the state capital by the beginning of next week.

Phil's Phun Phacts: Stole this one from Ken Korach, actually: The last time an A's starter gave up more than 3 runs in a game was the second game of the year against Seattle, when Joe Blanton coughed up four runs.

Here's a stat I came up with on my own: The A's swept the two-game series against the Angels in roughly the same amount of time (4 hours, 26 minutes) it took them to complete Saturday's 13-inning loss to the Yankees (4 hours, 25 minutes). This is largely because of the extra frames and not just because the Yankees play a particularly slow, deliberately paced brand of baseball.

All in All Thank goodness for the performance of the pitching -- the starters especially and the bullpen as of late -- because the A's offense continues to sputter. I'm as happy to be above .500 for the first time in 2007 as the next guy, but unless the A's start hitting and plating runners with something approaching consistency, it's going to be a short stay on the winning side of the ledger.

I'm writing these notes for Game 14, as Game 15 plays on my MacBook Pro through the courtesy of RadioShark. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep the two games straight and not start talking about Dan Haren when I mean to be talking about Chad Gaudin.

Game 14: A's 4, Angels 1

Your Pitchers of Record: WP -- C. Gaudin (1-0) LP -- Jr. Weaver (0-1) S -- H. Street (3)

Went Deep: Crosby (1)

Your Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Free Cone Day Star of the Game: You could make an argument for Bobby Crosby, whose three-run home-run in the fourth put the A's comfortably in front and silenced the increasingly vocal critics, at least for a day. But I'm going to go with Chad Gaudin, who pitched the longest outing of his career and might have blanked the moribund Angels' offense if not for a wind-aided Maicer Izturis double to score Reggie Willits in the eighth.

Funny thing about Gaudin -- when the A's hustled him into the rotation to fill in for the injured Esteban Loaiza, most people figured that it was a roster move the A's would be fortunate to endure. Christina Kahrl was particular critical of the move in this Baseball Prospectus Radio episode. And not only have Gaudin's three starts gone well, you could argue that he's probably turned in the best performance of any of the A's starters over the past few weeks. Maybe he won't be able to sustain that, but certainly, once Loaiza's ready to return -- and assuming Rich Harden doesn't miss too many starts -- you'd have to think that Gaudin will have secured a spot in the rotation.

Oh, and my free cone at the Jack London Square Ben & Jerry's was Turtle Soup, thanks for asking

The Turning Point: Again, not to give Crosby the short-shrift here by overlooking his home run, but let's talk about the plays that followed. With two outs, Travis Buck hit a catchable ball that Garret Anderson turned into a two-base error. Jason Kendall immediately followed up with a run-scoring single. The A's ended up not needing the extra run ultimately, but the four-run margin probably helped the remaining four-and-a-half innings progress without too much fuss.

Often, the difference between a loss and a win -- particularly when you've got an offense that isn't firing on all cylinders -- is the ability to take advantage when the opposing team gifts you extra at-bats. For one night, at least, the A's were able to do that.

Hooray, Aggression: One of the things that irritates me -- and you've probably guessed it's a very long and substantive list -- is when a relief pitcher comes in with a comfortable-yet-not-insurmountable lead and proceeds to nibble around the strike zone instead of forcing the batter to put the ball in play. Note to timid relief pitchers: player development programs have yet to produce a player who can overcome a three-run deficit by hitting a solo home run. But it's a heck of a lot easier for your opponent to come from behind when you're handing out free passes. Suggestion? Throw strikes.

Huston Street did exactly that last night, putting 11 of his 13 pitches in the strike zone. Neither Erick Aybar nor Casey Kotchman -- the last two batters of the ballgame -- saw a pitch that was called a ball. This makes me unspeakably happy.

Dreaded Larry Davis Sighting: Mark Ellis returned to the lineup after missing the last two Yankee games thanks to a Brian Bruney pitch to shoulder blade. And Rich Harden's semi-annual shutdown injury has yet to become official -- no major damage, the MRI declares! -- though he will miss his next scheduled start this Saturday against the Rangers. On the radio broadcast I'm currently listening to, Ken Korach says there's a chance Harden could pitch next week in Baltimore.

With Milton Bradley out of the lineup again last night, we can officially move from speculation about when he'll return from the hamstring pull to who will replace him on the active roster once he's inevitably placed on the DL.

With Vladimir Guerrero out for this series thanks to an errant Josh Beckett pitch, we can excuse Angel fans for not exactly feeling much sympathy over our assorted owies.

All in All: For the second time in three games, the A's bunched all their scoring into one inning. This time, they were able to hold onto the lead, facing perhaps the one offense with even less pop than their own.

"Hey, Marco, I can hit game-winning three-run homers, too, ya know! Watch this:"

Pow!

OK, so that wasn't quite so dramatic a shot as Marco Scutaro's home run on Sunday, but it'll do fine. I'm frankly getting pretty weary of high drama in every single baseball game the A's play, so getting the big home run much earlier in the contest is quite a welcome sight. A nice, quick relaxing victory is just what the doctor ordered.

I also figured out how to break my 974-consecutive-loss streak when witnessing the A's play the Angels in person: show up late. My daughter had soccer practice until 7pm, and I had to drive her home, and then drive out to the Coliseum, where both the A's and the Warriors were playing this evening. The parking lots were long since full by the time I got there, so I ended up quite a hike away on the other side of the freeway. I didn't get to my seat until the bottom of the second inning.

It was a very windy and bitter cold evening. Large waves rippled through the tarps on the upper decks. Fortunately, it was a very fast game. Chad Gaudin had little trouble with an unimposing Vlad Guerrero-less Angels lineup.

Jered Weaver, coming off the disabled list for his first start of the year, was also effective for the most part, although he wasn't quite as impressive as I've seen him in the past. His fastball was around 86-89mph, with the occasional 92mph, which is about 4-5 mph slower than I recall him throwing before. He was getting the A's out with slop, which is fine, I guess, but it sent visions of Frank Tanana dancing in my head...one day you have a very effective, totally overpowering pitcher, and then there's an injury, and the next day, you're left with an effective junkballer. Effective is effective, I suppose, but all things being equal, you'd prefer the guy with the big heater. Make a mistake with a 96mph fastball and you can usually get away with it, but hang a curveball, and the Bobby Crosbys of the world can beat you. Still, it was just his first start, so there's probably little cause for Angels fans to panic. About the pitching anyway.

That lineup, on the other hand, without Vlad in the middle of it...Guerrero was out after getting plunked yesterday in Boston, and tonight Howie Kendrick got plunked, as well:

That had to hit something pretty solid to bounce that far up in the air in the other direction. Kendrick stayed in the game for a while, but got pinch-hit for his next time up. The Angels offense is pretty weak to begin with, but no matter how good their pitching is, the team can't survive too long without Vlad, Kendrick and Juan Rivera. Those are their three best hitters, and it's possible they may all be out tomorrow, and who knows how much longer?

But what am I worrying about the Angels for? Let's hear it for Bobby Crosby, who had quite the jittery start to the season, but was the hero tonight. It looked for the longest time that the game was going just a little too fast for him to keep up with, as he returned from his injured back. But the last few games has started to make better contact at the plate, and his defense, still rocky as of just two days ago, tonight looked much better, as well. The best sign that he might be catching up to the speed of the game came on a slow bouncer up the middle that he had to charge. Earlier in the season, he probably would have rushed an off-balance throw towards first, but tonight, he calmly took his time, set his feet, and make a good throw to first base with time to spare.

Not content with scoring three runs in the first inning of Wednesday's game against the White Sox and then taking the rest of the afternoon off, the A's offense pulled off the same feat against the New York Yankees Saturday. Only this time, instead of eight innings of futility, Oakland treated the home fans to 12 innings of goose eggs.

Because these things tend to happen in threes, the A's did the same thing on Sunday -- score at will in the first and follow that up with a multi-inning nap. Things turned out much better this time, as you may have heard.

Here's the abbreviated summary for both weekend editions of "Whaddaya Mean First Team to Three Runs Doesn't Win?" in advance of tonight's Angels game, which I entertained thoughts of attending but which I will probably wind up watching from the comfort of my couch.

Continue reading...

Since Marco Scutaro joined the A's in 2004, he's had no less than eight "walk-off" events -- that is, he's won the game in the last at-bat for Oakland eight times in three years.

Make that nine.

So that's how a rather dramatic change of events looks on paper.

After last night's dinger against one of the greatest closers of all time, Marco is responsible for an astounding nine walk-offs in just 380 games. Since 2000, the much heralded David Ortiz leads the world in walk-offs with 15, but there's an underrated utility player in the East Bay that's charging up behind him. From 2004 to date, Marco has nine walk-offs, while Big Papi has ten -- in almost 100 more games played.

Here's the complete list of Marco's miracles:

• 2004-06-26 - Marco breaks a 7-7 tie with a two-out single to right field in the bottom of the tenth inning against Jim Brower of the Giants.
• 2004-08-25 - In a scoreless game against the Orioles, Scutaro knocks a three-run homer off of B.J. Ryan.
• 2005-04-16 - Scutaro bunts, Scot Shields throws the ball away, and Nick Swisher scores from first.
• 2005-04-27 - Marco pokes a game-winning single into left field against the ChiSox closer, Dustin Hermanson.
• 2005-06-15 - Against his old club, the Mets, Scutaro breaks open a scoreless tie with a line drive to center field off of the ageless Roberto Hernandez.
• 2005-07-27 - In the 10th inning, with two outs, Scutaro hits a single against the Indians' David Riske. Game over, A's win.
• 2006-04-04 - After a shellacking by the Yanks on Opening Day, Scutaro singles home a run off of Scott Proctor.
• 2006-09-22 - 12th inning, A's vs. Angels, score tied at four. Marco Scutaro lines an 0-2 Francisco Rodriquez pitch to center field, and the A's magic number drops to 2.
• 2007-04-15 - On Tax Day, Scutaro hits a three-run homer off of Mariano Rivera when the A's are down by two, with two outs, with two strikes. It doesn't get much better than that.

Slideshow: Yankees @ A's, 15 April 2007

Wow.  I'm not sure if this was the most happily shocking ending to a ballgame I've ever witnessed in person--after all, I saw Ramon Hernandez win an extra-inning playoff game with a bunt single--but it's certainly not one I'll ever forget. 

I'm still wading through my photos from today's game, but here's a little something to tide you over:

More photos here.

Well. That was unexpected.

More later.

So I had this bit planned Friday afternoon that I never got around to writing -- I was going to predict the outcome of all three A's-Yankees games. And of course, the predictions were going to be ridiculous exaggerations on the A's inability to score runs -- my favorite gag was going to be where New York activates Chien-Ming Wang from the DL and he ends up retiring the A's on 27 ground outs, 20 of which were hit by Jason Kendall. The point -- at the risk of beating an already thin premise into the ground -- is that the A's are so inept the plate that even a debilitated pitcher could set them down with ease. Ha ha ha.

Kei Igawa isn't debilitated, but I'm not sure he's very good either. Yet, through five innings, he had surrounded just one hit and the only run he gave up came as the result of a three-base error and a run-scoring ground out.

"Damnit, it was supposed to be a joke," I screamed at my TV set. "You guys aren't supposed to be that horrible at the plate in real life."

Fortunately, the A's weren't that horrible, at least for the remaining six innings of the ball game. Oakland overcame a 4-1 deficit to win in extras, even hitting a pair of home runs in the process. And, for a day at least, they relegate my visions of supreme offensive ineptitude to the realm of satire. For now.

Game 11: A's 5, Yankees 4 (11)

Your Pitchers of Record: WP -- H. Street (2-1) LP -- B. Bruney (0-1)

Went Deep: Chavez (1), Swisher (1). According to Steve Kroner of the Chronicle, Chavy's homer in the sixth off of Igawa ended the longest homerless period since a nine-game drought in September of 1983. You knew I'd be honor bound to look up the particulars of that streak, didn't you? On September 13, 1983, Mike Heath hit a solo shot off of Texas pitcher Frank Tanana in he fifth inning of an A's 6-5 win in Oakland. The A's wouldn't homer again until September 25 against the Blue Jays, when Dan Meyer -- no, not that Dan Meyer -- hit a solo shot in the second inning off Dave Steib. Meyer's homer was his first of the season and the last of the 86 home runs he hit over a 12-year career. The '83 homerless streak came as the A's were completing a lackluster 74-88 campaign that saw them finish 25 games behinds the White Sox; not even Steve Boros' Apple II computer could stop the slide. Let's hope things work out better for this punchless crew.

Your Gordon Biersch Marzen Star of the Game: A lot of back and forth on this. Sentiment would dictate Travis Buck, who hit the triple that set up the A's win and had the added bonus of annoying Johnny Damon in the process (more on that below). Of course, without Nick Swisher's homer in the eighth off Kyle Farnsworth -- I don't know what the Bronx Banter folks are so upset about; I love watching Kyle Farnsworth pitch for New York -- then there are probably no extra innings in which Buck can triple. Kiko Calero and, to a lesser extent, Justin Duchscherer acquitted themselves nicely out of the bullpen.

But in the end, I'm going to have to give it to Eric Chavez. The A's were dead and buried after a three-run Bombers outburst in the top of the sixth -- at least, they were pronounced dead in buried (quite profanely, I might add) in the Michaels home. So when Chavez followed up Piazza's one-out double by cranking an 88 mph Igawa pitch to right, it got Oakland back in the game. Throw in a nifty little catch of a Doug Mientkiewicz foul ball to quash a potential Yanks rally in the 10th -- off the glove, in the palm, nothing but an out! -- and I can't think of an Oakland player who contributed more to Friday's comeback.

The Turning Point: Two that I can think of: in the aforementioned top of the sixth, the Yankees had the bases loaded, nobody out, and two runs already home when Mientkiewicz stepped up to the plate. One pitch later, Alan Embree induced a 4-6-3 double play; sure, Jason Giambi, Dark Lord of the Sith, scored on the play, but it turned out to be the last run the Yankees would score that inning and for the rest of the game.

And the other turning point? That would be in the eighth when the Yankees again had the bases loaded, this time with one out, and it looked for certain that at least New York run and a ninth-inning appointment with Mariano Rivera was in Oakland's future. That's when Mientkiewicz came up again and hit a looping little ball back to the pitcher's mound. Duchscherer fumbled it, but was able to recover quick enough to force Alex Rodriguez at the plate. A 4-3 grounder from Melky Cabrera later and the A's were again out of a jam.

I don't know what the Bronx Banter folks are so upset about; I love watching Doug Mientkiewicz bat for the New York.

Johnny Damon Does Not Appreciate Your Candor, Young Man: Buck made no secret of his plans to try for a triple the minute he saw Johnny Damon attempting to field his 11th inning gapper. Says the AP:

"I basically made that decision coming out of the box," said Buck, whose father grew up a Yankees fan. "Damon doesn't have that strong of a throwing arm. I wanted to test it. ... Crossing the plate with the winning run to beat the Yankees ... I'm still trying to calm down."

The AP article goes on to say that "Damon wasn't worried about Buck's comments," but you'd be hard-pressed to reach that conclusion based on the quote from Damon:

"I think he was kind of lucky the ball did bounce off the wall," Damon said. "He would have been out. He's a young kid. He'll learn."

He'll learn what exactly? To quake in his boots at the mere thought of your noodle arm? To stop in his tracks and admire the beautiful arch of one of your parabola-shaped tosses back to the infield? Or that Bobby Abreu probably should have fielded that ball instead?

Dreaded Larry Davis Sighting: We were promised when Milton Bradley sat out Wednesday's game that he would be ready to go on Friday. And yet, Friday came with Milton Bradley not being ready to go. He's now listed as day-to-day.

A Kind Word about Ray Fosse: I've said some less-than-charitable things about the A's TV analyst -- nothing too untoward, I hope -- because of his increasing penchant for littering broadcasts with a lot of rah-rah-home-team commentary. Basic fairness requires me to point out that Foss gave an excellent breakdown of Swisher's home run -- how he was able to drive the pitch and so forth. And that's why I'm probably tough on Fosse -- I know what he's capable of when he doesn't resort to incessant boosterism.

Everyone Who's In the Starting Rotation Step Forward... Not So Fast, Kennedy: That last link up above also unveils the A's plans to skip Joe Kennedy's spot in the rotation due to all the off days this week. Kennedy's next start won't be until the end of April, either against the Rangers or the Orioles; instead, Chad Gaudin, who wasn't even in the rotation plans until the last week of spring training, will pitch on turn.

I'm no soothsayer, but I'd say this bodes ill for Kennedy's continued presence in the rotation once Esteban Loaiza returns from the DL.

Day Becomes the Night: Saturday's game starts at 6:05 p.m., the first of six Saturday night games at the Coliseum this year. I don't have the official numbers to verify this, but trust me -- that's a lot, particularly compared to the A's schedules of my youth when Oakland always played its weekend home games in the afternoon.

The reason, of course, is television. Fox blocks any games from airing between 12:55 p.m. and 4 p.m., so if you're not on the schedule, you might as well bump your teams games to the evening to enjoy some local TV revenue.

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, the A's typically have a substandard TV schedule, so anything that gets more games on the tube is probably a good thing, especially for me and my Attend Fewer Games in Person This Season policy. Plus, I've fought a 35-year battle against my arch-nemesis the sun, so if I do wind up going to a game, at least it won't be slathered in eight coats of SPF-5000. (And as I write this, it's pouring rain, so an afternoon game today would be in danger of getting rained out.)

But... weekend baseball games should be played during daylight hours. I'm sorry but they should. I have nothing to bolster this argument except for sentiment, so I'll just move on.

All in All: Any Oakland fan have a problem with beating the Yankees after trailing by three runs? Didn't think so.

Wednesday's scheduled Athletics-White Sox face-off -- "game" does not seem an appropriate word choice as that suggests that some amount of pleasure is involved -- is a tricky one to write up, seeing as how it was not on TV and contested during work hours. Nevertheless, we will endeavor to do our best, which is more than can be said for the A's offense from the second inning onward.

Game 10: White Sox 6, A's 3

Your Pitchers of Record: WP: D. Aardsma (1-0) LP: H. Street (1-1) S: B. Jenks (2)

Went Deep: Dye (1)

Your Coca-Cola Star of the Game: Jermaine Dye, whose two-run eighth inning blast tied up the game to set up the chain of events in the ninth where the wheels fell of the Oakland wagon. Why, Jermaine, why? And after I came to your defense, too. You know what I say to that, Jermaine?

Boo. Booooooooooooooooo!

The Turning Point: We'll go with those two ninth-inning pitches that Huston Street through the thrice-damned A.J. Pierzysnki that could have been called strike three but weren't. Street says in the funny papers that the calls, while not necessarily bad ones, could have gone either way, and since I only have Ken Korach's accounts and descriptions of the contest, I'll have to take Street's word for it. But since the calls went the way they did, the A's went from having two outs and a runner on first to one-out/two-on situation, and Street lost his control from there on out.

"I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC. What Are You Doing Here at the Coliseum?": By far my favorite commercial -- and by "favorite," I mean the one I openly mock -- playing during A's radio broadcasts is the one for the A's Kids Club in which a harried father tells his son that he can only pick out on souvenir to commemorate his trip to the Coliseum; no worries, pops, the kid says -- he's a member of the A's Kids Club so he gets all the loot he needs. And after an announcer lists all the merits of membership, the father asks his son, "Can I join the A's Kids Club?"

The question is absurd on its face -- of course, you cannot, old man. Which one of you has custody of the other one? Which one of you drove to the park and sprang for tickets? Do those sound like the sort of claims someone age 14 and under could make?

Nevertheless, the kid in the radio ad comes up with a much more polite response: "Sorry, Dad. Kids only." If I wrote ad copy, the rejoinder would be, "No way, you creepy weirdo." Which is why I'm not in advertising.

Dreaded Larry Davis Sighting: Watching Tuesday's game, I noticed Milton Bradley walking somewhat gingerly after he scored the tying run in the ninth and opted to ignore it. Bradley strained his hammy as it turns out and, with the Thursday off-day, the A's opted to give him two days of rest in advance of the Yankees series. So the well wishes and intricate spells holding the easily-injured Bradley together appear to be working, more or less.

A head's up from Susan Slusser: Bobby Crosby's off-day on Wednesday was pre-planned and Shannon Stewart will likely be out of the lineup Friday. We mention this so that no one thinks either player suffered some severe injury, which is a natural assumption when anyone in an Oakland uniform is out of the lineup.

The Lesson As Always -- Listen to Phil: I've been squawking about Jason Kendall's lofty position in the batting order for longer than I care to (see this summary for the most lucid rant), and it's nice to see that Bob Geren sees the same things I see. Even better, if this post from Slusser is anything to go by, it sounds like this move is not of the temporary nature. I don't know if Shannon Stewart is necessarily the answer -- I think he'll eventually come around, but I have nothing to base this on rather than gut feeling and a momentary bout of optimism -- but I like him getting four or five at-bats a game more than I like Kendall doing it.

It's just as well the game wasn't on TV. When the lineups were announced with Kendall in the eight slot, we might have been treated to a shot of Ray Fosse in the booth with a single tear running down his cheek, a la Iron Eyes Cody. With the game only on radio, Foss could take the time to compose himself off air.

All in All: Much will probably be made of Duchscherer giving up the game-tying homer to Dye and Street completing the come-from-ahead loss in the ninth. Indeed, in my bout of post-game glumness, I ruminated that perhaps Huston Street is not so reliable when asked to pitch on consecutive days -- certainly on a day game after a night game. But I have no evidence of that, and it seems kind of fruitless to start looking at this point. Sometimes guys just don't get the job done. The A's bullpen did its duty on Sunday against the Angels and on Tuesday against the Sox; that they couldn't repeat the feat Wednesday is just one of those things. No sense looking for any larger meaning in what is probably just a blip in a 162-game season.

What I do have evidence of is the A's inability to hit the ball consistently over the course of a nine-inning game. We've got 10 games in the books now, and Oakland's bats have really come through in only one of those. Wednesday repeated the pattern: set aside the three-run outburst in the first inning, and the A's only notched a hit and a walk for the remaining eight frames. Bash Duke and Street if you want, but those guys can at least point to delivering at some point over the first 10 games. How many A's batters can say the same thing?

All that's been said about Tuesday's game has already been said, in words and pictures. But when has that ever stopped me?

Game 9: A's 2, White Sox 1

Your Pitchers of Record: WP -- H. Street (1-0) LP -- B. Jenks (1-1)

Went Deep: The Went Deep space is now looking for advertisers to fill this space, since it will apparently go unoccupied by A's homers.

Your Gordon Biersch Marzen Star of the Game: Todd Walker. Some may argue that Mark Ellis deserves our mythical honor, since he did, after all, provide the killing blow. But with the bases loaded with Athletics and Bobby Jenks more or less forced to put a pitch in the vicinity of the strike zone, the odds were tilted more toward Ellis coming through than they might be otherwise. Besides, if Ellis' ball lands in Scott Podsednik's glove instead of on his head, we're just going to extra frames; if Todd Walker fails to deliver, the game is over and the A's are 3-6. Plus, Todd Walker was asked to deliver a hit after sitting on the bench for 8 2/3 innings -- that deserves some sort of recognition, I'd think.

The Turning Point: I'd say the Walker at-bat, chronicled ably by Ryan below. But let's not let this opportunity to opine at length pass without mentioning the post-Walker RBI-hit decision by Ozzie Guillen to throw four wide ones past Travis Buck in order to face Mark Ellis. As reader doppelganger noted in the comments to last night's waste of subjects and predicates:

I can see the lefty-righty thing, but
1. Buck isn't a very good hitter yet (I know Ellis is worse)
2. A walk loses the game, so if Jenks fell behind he'd have to give Ellis a good pitch to hit. Watching Gamecast, I knew that would happen as soon as Jenks went to 2-1.

Originally, I surmised that Ozzie ordered the walk because he didn't want the right-handed Jenks pitching against the left-handed Buck. But then I looked at Jenks' career righty-lefty splits. Righties hit him for a much better average (.279 vs. .182) and for much more power than lefties do. So I'm stumped particularly in light of the fact that Guillen enjoys a not-undeserved reputation for craftily handling his bullpen resources.

I can only assume that the Sox skipper remember that Buck had tripled earlier and that Ellis had looked miserable at the plate (particularly with runners in scoring position) and acted accordingly. Either that, or his minded was clouded by thoughts of Jay Mariotti.

Head Games: John Shea's description of the game-winning hit in the dead-trees edition of the Chronicle:

Following an intentional walk to Travis Buck that loaded the bases, Mark Ellis singled to deep left, and the A's went from stranding runners all night to almost strangling Ellis in a celebratory scrum.

From the Contra Costa Times:

Ellis had failed to get Buck home from third base with nobody out in the fifth, and the A's second baseman was thrilled to get another chance. He made the most of it with a single off the wall in left-center field.

From the AP:

Mark Ellis singled off the wall in left with the bases loaded in the ninth after pinch-hitter Todd Walker tied the game on an RBI single, lifting the Oakland Athletics past the Chicago White Sox 2-1 on Tuesday night.

No, no, and no. With an understanding nod toward the constraints of filing game stories on tight deadline, it was quite clear that the ball never hit the wall, but instead landed square on Scott Podsednik's head.

We don't mean to pick on Podsednik -- kinda, sorta, OK, we do -- since most fielders wouldn't have been fast enough to be a position to make a play on the ball, let alone give it the Maradona-treatment as they sprawled helpless into the left-field fence, but we so rarely get a chance to see highly-compensated professional fielders take a header, we should not allow mere deadline pressures to rob us of this moment.

Jose Canseco has been dining off his skull-aided home run for years. (Well, that and the steroids.) That's the first thing people think of when they think of Babe Herman, even though he was insistent that he never let a fly ball hit him in the head. ("Once or twice on the shoulder maybe...") Let's not deny Scott Podsednik his own place in baseball immortality.

(I see that the online version of John Shea's story now recognizes Podsednik's skull's contribution to this historic occasion. Kudos.)

Speaking of Scott Podsednik and immortality, you still have the opportunity to think up a fitting nickname for the one-two tandem of him and Darin Erstad. (Think Bash Brothers or M&M Boys, only without so much offense.) Whoever offers the winning suggestion will be properly feted by yours truly.

Cheap Shot I Should Have Included Yesterday: From Shea's account of opening day:

[A's owner Lew] Wolff watched Monday's 4-1 loss to the White Sox from his seat behind the A's dugout, alongside his guest, Oakland mayor Ron Dellums.

Yes, but Wolff only invited Dellums to ask him about the quickest routes out of town.

Because Phil Is a Demanding Master: It's seems mean to dwell on this, what with the come-from-behind victory and all, but dwell we shall on the aftermath of Buck's triple to lead off the fifth inning. That potential rally-sparking moment was immediately followed by a feeble grounder to Jon Garland from Mark Ellis, a grounder to Garland of equal or lesser value from Jason Kendall, and a who-the-hell-cares-how-Shannon Stewart-made-the-third-out-it's-not-like-the-run-would-score-on-a-fly-ball from Shannon Stewart.

Failing to produce with runners in scoring position happens from time to time; it just seems to be happening a lot with the A's in 2007 (.173 batting average headed into the ninth). Yeah, the players aren't robots, and, yeah, sometimes, the pitchers get the best of a showdown (even the Jon Garlands of the world), but someone or someones in green and gold needs to know that they're going to be called to account if this nonsense continues, improbable walkoff win or no.

All in All: Hey, really dramatic half-inning at the end there -- and with a particularly pleasant result. I'm not sure that it should entirely obscure that offensive ineptitude that came before it, but we'll take the Ws we can get until we figure this "timely hitting" thing out.

Last night Todd Walker earned his white shoes and Bob Geren made his first great managerial move.

Instead of batting the flailing Bobby Crosby with two outs in the bottom of the ninth against Bobby Jenks, Geren inserted his best lefty hitter off the bench -- Walker.

Last season Walker hit .302 against right-handers, while Crosby managed just a .242 mark. In their careers, they have a combined three at-bats against Jenks, and both are hitless.

Here's Walker's at-bat, the biggest moment of the game:

Continue reading...

The other day, Cliff posted a picture of his pregame meal, and I thought, hey, that's a cool idea. I think we should make it a Toaster tradition. If you eat out on your way to the game, you have to post a picture of your meal.

Here's mine. I'm in San Diego with family, and on the way to the Giants-Padres game tonight, we stopped at the Chicken Pie Shop, an old diner that's been around forever. It's just a few blocks from where Ted Williams grew up, so you can bet Ted Williams probably ate there.

I loved it. Not the food so much, which was pretty straightforward, or the decor, which looks like a diner straight out of the forties (and perhaps some of the decor really is from the forties), but the name. I love names that say what they are. Chicken Pie Shop. I'll have the chicken pie, please.

We left the Chicken Pie Shop, got in our Minivan, and headed for The Baseball Park. I had no rooting interest in the game, and the pitching matchup wasn't anything special (Matt Morris vs. Clay Hensley). The Giants took an early lead, and the only drama was whether the atrocious Giants bullpen would give it all back before the Padres ran out of outs. They held on with one out to spare.

I suppose even Padres fans found the game somewhat boring, since it appears that they entertain themselves by counting the days until Tony Gwynn gets inducted into Cooperstown. I entertained myself by watching my kids play in the sandbox beyond the right-centerfield fence, and by keeping one eye on the scoreboard, to see what was going on between the White Sox and the A's.

Even the scoreboard watching was boring. Inning after inning passed by. OAK - 0. OAK - 0. OAK - 0. "Oh for heaven's sake, score some runs!" I shouted at one point, to no one in particular.

Then Armando Benitez came in for the Giants, with a three-run lead in the ninth. The out-of-town scoreboard said, "CHW 1, OAK 0, B9." With two outs, Benitez served up a two-run homer to Adrian Gonzalez. The lead was down to one. Fireworks. Scoreboard flashing. Happy music.

Once the noise settled, the out-of-town scoreboard got back to work. I looked up, and instinctively blurted loudly, "YEAH! WOOHOO!" The scoreboard, to my utter surprise, now said, "CHW 1, OAK 2. F."

Ahhhhhh. It's such a good feeling to leave the ballpark with a tough, hard-fought victory, isn't it?

Man. I wish I could be in San Diego on spring break so that I could miss games like Monday night's drubbing at the hands of Chicago. Hell, a few more games like that, and I might wish I was in National City on spring break.

White Sox 4, A's 1

Your Pitchers of Record: WP -- Contreras (1-1) LP -- Harden (1-1)

Went Deep: Thome (2), Podsednik (1). I'm sure an Oakland player probably hit one out in BP.

Your Louis Jadot Beaujolais Star of the Game: Jim Thome. There might be an outcry for Scott Podsednik to win this, given his uncharacteristic offensive output. But it's Thome who came up with the crushing blow to tie the game in fourth, and the RBI single to put the game out of reach at 3-1. You know the old saying: "If the A's are down by two/chances are your game is through."

The Turning Point: Two moments, one following right after the other, stand out in my mind. In the third, the Eric Chavez works a six-pitch walk from a struggling Jose Contreras to load the bases with two outs. Contreras throws two consecutive balls to Nick Swisher. Ah, but the 2-0 pitch finds the strike zone and Swisher looses a less-than-optimal swing -- resulting in a pop-up to left.

Jim Thome leads off the fourth for Chicago and finds himself on the happy end of a 3-0 count. Rich Harden throws what seems like a get-'em-over strike that, unfortunately, Thome chooses to mash to straight-away center.

In the span of two batters, the A's went from blowing the game wide open against a struggling pitcher to watching Jim Thome slowly circle the bases and tie the game. If that's not a momentum-shifting chain of events, I don't know what is.

Jay Marshall Watch: Things did not work out so well last night for My Magnificent Lefty Sidearmer. Oh, the seventh went well enough, in which my favorite Rule V draftee needed 13 pitches to retire the Sox in order (including getting Enemy of the People A.J. Pierzynski to hit a feeble and giggle-inducing comebacker.) Ah, but with two left-handers leading off the eighth, Bob Geren got a little bit greedy and left Marshall out there. Podsednik singled, Erstad bunted him over and that pretty much consigned the A's to leaving Marshall in until Thome's at bat. We've already mentioned how that turned out. Two runs were charged to Marshall, lifting his ERA from 0.00 to 4.15 and doubtlessly cementing his status as a one-inning kind of pitcher. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Pods and Ersty, and For Runs We Are Thirsty: The White Sox fielded a lineup featuring Scott Podsednik (on-base percentage of .343 in 2,548 career plate appearances) and Darin Erstad (.341 in 5,803 PAs) in the top two slots. Perhaps this is a poorly timed observation seeing as how Pods went 3-for-4 last night with a double and a home run (only two more to match 2006's output!), but man, that's a lot of outs at the top of order. (Indeed, for as good an evening as Podsednik had, Erstad looked terrible against Harden, striking out in both his at bats. He was able to get that aforementioned sacrifice down. No one makes an out like Darin Erstad.)

I think, before all is said and done in 2007, Podsednik and Erstad will make a historic one-two... well, punch isn't the right word. How's about a one-two light slap? Anyhow, I think they need a nickname. Just as McGwire and Canseco were the Bash Brothers, just as Clark and Mitchell were the Pacific Sock Exchange, just as Maris and Mantle were the M&M Boys, so too do Pods and Ersty need a joint moniker.

Me, I favor "And With Two Gone, Here's Paul Konerko," but I recognize that's not exactly pithy. My one-time blogging compatriot Jason suggested "Grit and Grittier," which is not without its charms.

But I throw this question out to the vast Catfish Stew listening audience: What nickname should the Podsednik-Erstad lineup combo have? Please place your suggestion in the comments; the winner will have the distinction of being named Star of the Game sponsor for the Wednesday get-away game against the Sox. Who knows? Maybe Pods or Ersty can take home Star of the Game honors that day.

Seems unlikely, but it would be fitting.

Phil's Not-So-Phun Phacts: With two home runs, the A's find themselves at the bottom of the American League in that category. And I don't really see how that position is likely to change much during the year. Who on the A's would you say is a safe bet to top the 30-homer mark this season? Nick Swisher, probably. Milton Bradley, if he remains healthy and that's a skyscraper-sized if. Piazza, I guess, though I have my doubts. At any rate -- not a lot of sock in that lineup, and there'll be even less if a frustrated Swish starts swinging wildly like he did in the sixth last night.

And while we're on that subject... while the A's can't hit for power, they're certainly swinging like it -- they lead the A.L. in strikeouts. On the Action 36 telecast, otherwise known as Happy Talk with Glenn and Ray, Glenn Kuiper dismissed that stat by noting that 12 of those came off of Felix Hernandez in a single game and that thing would eventually even themselves out. He may well be right. Of course, it's one thing to have King Felix strike you out; it's another to make Mike MacDougal look unhittable.

Stuff That Probably Reflects Poorly on Me: So... backstory: Back in my college days, my pal Wrenn and I were tooling around San Francisco when we happened to come across a guy wearing a Boston Bruins jersey bearing Cam Neely's No. 8. Mr. Hockey Jersey was... well, we shall charitably say he did not cut the same dashing figure that Cam Neely did in his prime. Hey, few of us do. Nevertheless, Wrenn was moved to observe, his voice quavering with sincere concern, "Man, Cam Neely looks terrible." And in the ensuing 15 years, whenever I encounter a similar physical specimen, I imagine Wrenn saying that and enjoy a private chuckle.

Anyhoo... last night the Action 36 cameras are panning the stands, when they happen upon a silver-haired gentleman with a handlebar mustache looking as stricken over the goings-on as the rest of us.

"Hey, cheer up, Rollie Fingers," I said out loud to the TV. That this was probably my lone source of amusement all evening is not a good sign -- for the A's or for me.

You Stay Classy, Oakland: The boos that reign down on Ex-Athletic Jermaine Dye every time his name is announced confuse and irritate me. "Take that for breaking your leg in a playoff game," the idiot boobirds seem to be saying. "Take that for signing the ill-advised contract extension that Billy Beane offered you. And how dare you sign with another team when Oakland had no interest in retaining your services? Boo! Booooooo!"

Dye served the A's honorably and as best he could under the circumstances. He never acted like a jerk when he was on the team or after he left. If one cannot applaud politely, then the next best response is to sit silently. Booing Dye for no reason other than the fact that he's wearing a different colored shirt makes the rest of us look like chumps.

Now, A.J. Pierzynski you can boo.

All in All: It's still early yet -- I figure we can trot that chestnut out for another week -- but the current manifestation of the A's are doing the one thing that's worse than losing: being unspeakably boring while doing it. Scoring a run or two each night and hoping your pitchers can do prevent the other team from doing likewise is not only a poor recipe for success, it's also unlikely to leave the paying customers entertained.

Here's what Bob Geren told the Chronicle, post-drubbing: "You don't want to have a disappointing game, but these guys played hard. We just didn't get the big hit." The way things are looking right now, Geren ought to just type up that statement, Xerox it, and hand out copies to the press after each game -- it might save him a lot of time.

Scheduling:

• I'm in San Diego for spring break. Which means I'm going to miss watching tonight's home opener against the White Sox. Even worse, it means I'm going to miss watching a Rich Harden start. I hate missing a Rich Harden start. You never know how many you're going to get, so you need to enjoy them while you can.
   
• The Mariners, Indians and Angels are probably wondering why the schedule makers hate them. And then there's the White Sox. They faced Johan Santana yesterday, and get Harden tonight. Chad Gaudin is probably going to get clobbered tomorrow night, just because to Jermaine Dye & Co., Gaudin will probably look like a slo-pitch softball pitcher in comparison.
   
• I will take credit for the A's victory yesterday. I actually drove through Anaheim yesterday afternoon, and had considered stopping to go to the game, but decided against it. The A's are 0-974 when I watch them play the Angels in person (my streak dates back to my very first ballgame in 1974), and the A's really needed that win on Sunday. However, if you're going to take credit, you need to take blame, as well. So when the Angels beat the A's in Oakland next Tuesday, that will be my fault entirely.
   

Better than expected so far:

• Starting pitching.
  
  There hasn't been a single game yet where you could say the starting pitcher pitched poorly. Only Joe Blanton's start in Seattle was even questionable. We kind of expect that sort of thing from Rich Harden and Dan Haren, but Blanton, Gaudin and Joe Kennedy all pitched great.
   
• Mike Piazza.
  
  He's hitting .393/.433/.607 right now. There was some question whether he could adjust to the AL after being in the NL his whole career, but the dude knows what he's doing at the plate. He'll get fooled and look awful in his first AB sometimes by a pitcher he hasn't seen, but he does seem to get fooled twice. It's been quite fun to watch.
   
• Jay Marshall.
  
  The Rule 5 pick looks like he's been pitching in the majors for a dozen years. Three innings with nary a baserunner.
   
• Jason Kendall's arm.
  
  He nailed multiple Angels trying to steal this weekend, including the final out on Thursday, with perfect throws right on the bag. Seems like yesterday when every single throw he made down to second bounced on the infield grass.
   

Worse than expected so far:

• Kiko Calero and Jay Witasick.
  
  OK, I don't really know why I would expect anything from Jay Witasick except total suckitude, but for some reason, I was feeling a bit optimistic about him this spring. I thought he might be a good arm to have as the last man in the pen. How silly of me. There are at least three pitchers in Sacramento who should take his job.
  
  As for Calero, two of the four losses so far are stamped on his resume. But we can subtract one of those for his performance yesterday against the top of the Angels order. I think we can count his little slump as just one of those things. He'll be fine.
   
• Luck With RISP.
  
  One of my big pet peeves with recent A's teams is their inability to put the ball in play with a runner on third and less than two outs. This year, they're actually doing a pretty good job of it, but they've had no luck whatsoever. Three times already they've been in that situation, took a great approach, got a pitch to make contact with and hit the ball hard, but right at a drawn-in infielder.
   
• Shortstops.
  
  Crosby was really bad last year, and so far this year, he's been even worse. On the field, three errors in five games, two of which led to the winning run scoring in a close ballgame. At the plate, he's just hopelessly lost. The only ball he's hit hard all year was a big hanging curveball. The rest: strikeouts and weak grounders. He's hitting .200/.250/.200. Marco Scutaro hasn't been much better, with two errors in four games, and a .100/.182/.100 line at the plate.
   
• Nick Swisher.
  
  Well, not so much at the plate, where he's been taking his walks, with a .333/.533/.381 rate. But on the field and on the bases, he looks like he's thinking about a million other things besides the job at hand. Several of those shortstop errors were throws that Swisher should have been able to scoop. Perhaps you can blame the fact that he needs to prepare for four different positions on the field (1B and all three OF positions) for his mental mistakes, but I'm not buying it. And that doesn't explain the baserunning gaffe, below.
   

The Anatomy of a Busted Play

Saturday night, the A's were down 2-1 to the Angels, had runners on first and second and no one out in the seventh inning, facing John Lackey. Then they proceeded to blow their opportunity by having five different people make awful mistakes on the very same play:

• Bob Geren.
  
  In the opener, the A's had a similar situation in a tie game in the sixth, facing Felix Hernandez. Geren had Mark Ellis bunt Travis Buck to third, with Jason Kendall on deck. A reader thought that this was a bad decision by Geren, but I disagreed. Hernandez was throwing filthy, unhittable, Hall-of-Fame caliber stuff that day, Dan Haren was on, and one run could very well win that game.
  
  However, this situation was different. Lackey was pitching well, but was not only not unhittable, but starting to look like he was running out of gas. The game was not tied: the A's were trailing, needing to score at least twice to win. Ellis had already singled twice off Lackey, so he obviously was seeing the ball well against him. And the on-deck hitter was not Jason Kendall, who has a long history of rarely striking out, but rookie Travis Buck, who had struck out in his previous at-bat against Lackey, and in about half his plate appearances so far in his major league career.
  
  Context is everything. It was the wrong decision.
   
• Mark Ellis.
  
  Called on to bunt, Mark Ellis got a quite buntable fastball, and simply missed it. A pure failure to execute, and probably the most forgivable mistake of the five.
   
• Eric Chavez.
  
  You know the old saying, when you assume...Chavez assumed Ellis would make contact, and when he didn't, Chavez was found wandering halfway between second and third base, and got caught in a rundown.
   
• The Big Guy Upstairs.
  
  During Chavez' rundown, one of the throws actually hit Chavez in the helmet. Normally when a ball hits you in the helmet, it deflects in some random direction: down, usually, or off to one side or another. This ball, instead, deflected straight to an Angels fielder, just like those hard-hit balls with the infield in. The A's can't even get lucky when they get lucky, making you think that the Big Guy Upstairs was adding to the A's misfortunes on this day. Almost at second base, Chavez had to turn around and start running back towards third base, where he was finally tagged out.
   
• Nick Swisher.
  
  Swisher was on first base, and when Chavez was finally tagged out at third, Swisher was still on first base. Why didn't he run to second base during that whole mess, so that the A's would still have at least one runner in scoring position when the FUBARed play was over? I dunno. Maybe Swisher was just enjoying the entertainment or something. Tra-la-la, it's a nice day for picking daisies. Or perhaps he was suffering from a concussion when Lackey drilled him with a 0-2 pitch in the middle of the back, so his brain wasn't working right. Who knows where his mind was? Making matters worse, Travis Buck followed Ellis' at-bat with a single that would have scored Swisher with the tying run.
   

And then, when the Angels escaped the inning unscathed, Lackey walked off the field with one of the ugliest, most uncoordinated, unrhythmic celebration dances possible. Pure salt in the wound. I thought Jason Kendall's fight with Lackey last year was completely unjustified, but I wouldn't have begrudged him for punching Lackey out for whatever-that-thing-was. No human being should ever be subject to such a wretched sight.