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Mark Ellis Breaks Bat, Loses Arms
2006-09-23 22:27
by Ken Arneson

So I didn't get to see the A's clinch the division today. Shoulda figured. I'm a jinx when the A's play the Angels. After the game, my wife asked me the last time I saw the A's beat the Angels in person, and I failed to come up with an answer. As far as I know, I may have never seen the A's beat the Angels in person. I know I'm at least 0-for-my-last-7 or so, including one game in Anaheim. My very first ballgame ever was an A's-Angels game in 1974, and the Angels won that one too.

Today's loss probably had more to do with John Lackey than me, however. (And now, we interrupt this blog entry to present this Johnny Carson routine:)

Lemme tell ya, John Lackey was really good today.

How good was he?

John Lackey was so good, he not only broke about a dozen A's bats, he actually made Mark Ellis break his bat so badly that both of his forearms fell off:

Ellis Loses Arms

That's sooooo good.

Good for the Angels, and too bad for the A's. Mark Ellis is going to have a hard time turning plays like this one without his forearms:

Ellis Turns Two

Oh, well. Let's hope Ellis can grow some new forearms by tomorrow afternoon. And maybe tomorrow Philip will have better luck watching the A's beat the Angels than I do.

 

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MLB Heavyweight Champion

If MLB champs were decided like boxing: beat the champ, and you're the champ.

The 2008 season started with the Red Sox as champs. They were beaten by the A's, who were beaten back by Boston, who were then swept by Toronto, who lost to Oakland, who lost to Cleveland, and so on, until we reached our current champion.

The Heavyweight of the Year is the team that wins the most title bouts at the end of the season.

Current Champion (as of 5/17):
Cincinnati Reds

2008 Title Bout Records:

teamwl
Athletics1313
Red Sox117
Angels64
Indians46
Rangers46
Blue Jays33
Reds20
Yankees11
Tigers12
Orioles03

2007 Heavyweight of the Year:
Seattle Mariners

2006 Heavyweight of the Year:
Oakland Athletics

2005 Heavyweight of the Year:
Oakland Athletics

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