"Well, he was an ugly guy. With an ugly face.
An also-ran in the human race.
And even God got sad just looking at him. And at his funeral
all his friends stood around looking sad. But they were really
thinking of all the ham and cheese sandwiches in the next room."
I went to the A's-Tigers game on Sunday, the one where the A's came back from a 7-0 deficit to win, 8-7. I got home and couldn't think of a single intelligent thing to write about it. It was only when I read the obituary after the weekend that I realized why.
"The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry, and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases.
"For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?"
So I turned off my analytical mind, stopped thinking about why the game turned out the way it did, and just let whatever seemed interesting lead me wherever it would go. I ended up with this, a montage of a bunch of batted balls that fielders failed to catch:
Don't try to understand what this means, you unsophisticated ape-descendant. Just relax and enjoy your Catfish Stew.