All-News 740 KCBS reports that Bud Selig is making a visit out to the East Bay next week, which is a very Rare Occurrence, indeed. In fact, in the 14 years since Bud did to Fay Vincent what Claudius did to King Hamlet (only with a lot less ear poison), Baseball's Commissioner for Life has made exactly one visit to Oakland. And that only occurred after a fan in Section 316 inadvertently said Bud Selig's name three times in rapid succession, causing the commissioner to materialize out of thin air. Reportedly, Selig hissed at the fan and poked a small child with a pitchfork before disappearing in a sulfurous cloud of smoke.

No, that's an outright lie, actually. All Selig did was show up to proclaim that our fanchise was doomed -- doomed, I tells ya -- unless we made with the taxpayer-funded stadium toot sweet.

And we love you, too, Commissioner.

It appears that the moment of truth has arrived, and that Selig's upcoming appearance alongside Lew Wolff will be to announce that the team is moving a half-a-dozen or so exits down the Nimitz to Fremont (City motto: Gateway to Milpitas), bringing the franchise one step closer to the high-tech high rollers that lie tantalizingly just beyond the Santa Clara County line. Indeed, while we are referencing other people's reportorial legwork, let us note that Matier and Ross are reporting that the A's are poised to announce that they've bought a 143-acre site in Fremont off of Cisco Systems that it will convert into Lew Wolff's Pleasuredome and Multi-Unit Housing Emporium.

I, for one, welcome our new Fremont Overlords, and would like to let them know that if the new stadium is accessible from BART and if the amateur-hour tarps are left behind, they will receive no beefs from me.