The A's have designated Milton Bradley for assignment, the San Francisco Chronicle reports (and as the boss notes below). This news generates a whole well-spring of emotion within me -- though the most prominent one is severe irritation that this roster move totally ruins a post I was working on.

See, in honor of Bradley's third-time's-the-charm return from the DL Wednesday, I had concocted this elaborate post where Billy Beane had employed a team of statistical analysts to produce a chart that predicted the likelihood of Bradley remaining injury-free for the remainder of the year. And then you and I would have a good laugh, and that would bring us closer. Perhaps, even a grudging respect would form.

But now? Joke's ruined. Whether he winds up traded or released or plying his trade for the Long Island Ducks, Bradley is no longer an Athletic, so any jokes about his frequently-injured status are about as relevant in this day and age as a good Montreal Expos barb.

Aw, the hell with it. I didn't do all this HTML coding just to have Billy Beane's rooster voodoo mess up my junk. Here's the damn chart.

Milton Bradley	Before the Fifth Inning...	After the Fifth Inning...	During Batting Practice...	While Rounding Second...	During the National Anthem...	Once in a Blue Moon...
...Leaves the Game For a Pinch Runner	Shin splints, day-to-day	Ingrown toenail, 15-day DL	Heebie jeebies, 30-day DL	Diverticulitis, 60-day DL	Pheblitis, out a game or two	Demonic possession (A's must drop a player from the 40-man roster to make room for Bradley's demon)
...Leaves the Game for a Pinch Hitter	Polio, game-time decision	Dry mouth, Physically unable to perform list	Warts, CDC-mandated quarantine	Strep throat, 15-day DL	The falling sickness, 15-day DL	Participating in an international plot to assassinate Charles de Gualle
...Is Approached by Larry Davis	Ruptured Spleen, 15-day DL	Bird Flu, day-to-day	Unsightly blemishes, 60-day DL	The "French Disease," Out for a week	Narcolepsy, 30-day DL	Bradley's fine, but Rich Harden has been found in an ice-filled hotel room bathtub missing a kidney
...Is Ejected by the First Base Umpire	Stomach Flu, 15-Day DL	Imbalance of the humors, Game-time decision	Tired blood, 30-day DL	River Blindness, out for the year	Croup, 60-day DL	Collides with Bobby Crosby on a routine pop-up; must be rebuilt using bionic parts
...Grabs His Right Leg Suddenly	It's going to rain	Sailors take warning	Six more weeks of winter	Tornado weather	Avoid fried foods	Get your estate in order with a certified tax planner
...Engages In an Elaborate Post-Homer Ritual with Nick Swisher	Burst appendix, 30-day DL	The vapors, day-to-day	Strained eyelid, 60-day DL	Cottage cheese thighs, designated for assignment	Multiple personality disorder, traded to Phillies	Bradley's A-OK!

Perhaps the fact that I was motivated by events to create such a monstrosity is a pretty good clue as to why the A's made this apparently surprising move.