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4 Feb 2008
Curt Schilling vs. Lou Piniella, Round 2
2005-04-29 11:56
by Ken Arneson

Curt Schilling wins!

Lou Piniella's dislike for Modern Architecture is clearly a huge weakness. With my purple forcefield, I could easily kick his ass, too.

In fact, I'm the most kick-ass guy on all of baseballtoaster.com. Well, me and Mike Carminati. Mike, like me, is a giant robot. His computerized brain (presumably the size of a planet) can cause me a slight problem, but I have far superior strength. Plus, Mike is too busy being depressed about the fact that he's about to be famous.

Otherwise, I can pound the other guys fairly easily. These guys might win once in a while against me:

  • Alex Belth is a Human-Sized Bee that was Created by a Radioactive Accident, and controls Human Thought. His agility is superior, but his strength and intelligence dwarf mine.
  • Score Bard also has better agility, but otherwise, he's just a stupid ape.
  • Will Carroll (a flying plant) can match my agility, but that's it.

The rest of 'em just get smacked around, all the time:

Comments
2005-04-29 13:11:13
1.   Derek Smart
All very true. Also, my mother has acid for blood, my wife is a giant ant, and my daughter is undead. Tell me something I didn't know.
2005-04-29 13:36:15
2.   Alex Ciepley
I'm much more competitive when I'm in Russia:

Sasha Ciepley is a Human-Sized Robot that swallows Aeroplanes Whole, kidnaps Blonde Women, has Heavy Metal Armour, and CANNOT BE STOPPED.

I can beat Ken up quite easily when getting my Putin on:

http://lnk.nu/thesurrealist.co.uk/2fe.cgi

Sasha Ciepley Wins!

2005-04-30 00:14:34
3.   Cliff Corcoran
My girlfriend is a Giant Dragon that rides around in a Metal Tripod, kidnaps Blonde Women, and has a Long, Prehensile Tongue and four Extra Limbs. Sexy!

Also, my best friend and former guitarist is also a Giant Ape. So true!!!

2005-04-30 01:26:49
4.   treble
The best monster ever? Try "Great Vegeta"
2005-05-01 11:13:17
5.   Will Carroll
I would like some of whatever Ken is taking, please.

Comment status: comments have been closed. Baseball Toaster is now out of business.