Barry Zito is the second-worst pitcher in MLB at getting batters to hit into double plays: just once in 39 opportunities.
Eric Chavez is in seventh place overall amongst the players in the Hacking Mass contest, where you try to build the worst possible team that gets the most playing time.
In fact, if you used the projected A's starting lineup to build your Hacking Mass team at the beginning of the year (using Zito and Dotel as your pitchers), you wouldn't have a single player with a negative score. Your Hacking Mass team would be in 173rd place out of 1859, better (or is it worse?) than every single member of the Baseball Prospectus staff.
Ladies and gentlemen, your 2005 Oakland Hacking Massletics: