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I Am Monitoring The Situation
2005-12-16 02:41
by Ken Arneson

On KNBR radio yesterday, Billy Beane was asked point blank if the A's are still pursuing Frank Thomas. Beane hemmed and hawed, and finally said, "We are monitoring the situation."

Meaning, of course, that yes, they are. No big surprise. That's not so interesting.

What interests me is the phrase. I think this could be quite handy in all sorts of situations, when I don't feel like answering the question.

Wife: Are you going to take out the garbage?
Me: I am monitoring the situation.

Toaster user: Can we get some italics and HTML links in the comments?
Me: I am monitoring the situation.

Toaster user: Will Score Bard ever write another poem?
Me: I am monitoring the situation.

Offspring: Where do babies come from?
Me: I am monitoring the situation.

Toaster reader: Does this blog entry have a point?
Me: I am monitoring the situation.

Comments
2005-12-16 06:27:20
1.   Jason Wojciechowski
It's at least as useful as "I'm not here to talk about the past."
2005-12-16 08:24:16
2.   Bob Timmermann
I'm not here to monitor the past.
2005-12-16 08:53:31
3.   Adam B
And more useful than a Joe Morgan response, Jason.
2005-12-16 09:31:39
4.   standuptriple
Beane also said that they have not been shopping Zito and have every intention of having him in the rotation in 2006. Probably worth mentioning, considering his name has been put out there more than anyone else's since the winter meetings ended. But the "monitoring the situation" piece was good too.
2005-12-16 10:49:02
5.   AndrewM
Reminds me of another few:
"What questions do you have for my answers?" Henry Kissinger
and
"Mistakes were made." Bill Clinton
2005-12-16 13:00:24
6.   bearlurker
I'm not here to talk about the monitor.
2005-12-16 13:00:49
7.   bearlurker
I'm not here to talk about the monitor.
2005-12-16 14:25:24
8.   standuptriple
First rule about monitoring the situation, do not talk about monitoring the situation.
2005-12-16 15:25:41
9.   deadteddy8
I have a friend who uses "Brace for impact!" as a catch-all phrase in much the same way, and he gets a huge kick out of it because he claims it's a reference to Transformers: The Movie. Anyway, let's compare:

1)Mike Dunleavy launches another three attempt... "Brace for impact!"/"I'm monitoring the situation."

2)Milton Bradley is standing on second base after a double, and Jeff Kent starts strolling over... "Brace for impact!"/"I'm monitoring the situation."

3)Out on a date... Her: "So, you wanna come upstairs?" You: "Brace for impact!"/"I'm monitoring the situation."

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