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The Funniest A's Manager Suggestion Ever
2006-10-17 15:39
by Ken Arneson

I thought I was being funny when I suggested in the comments of Philip's last post that my six-year-old daughter would be qualified to be the A's next manager. But nothing is as funny as this:

I just wish Beane would broaden his scope a little, because Dusty Baker is the man for this job.


In my wildest dreams, I can't imagine him being at odds with Baker, but I suppose we can rule out Dusty, Girardi or anyone else who would steal Beane's thunder.

I literally laughed out loud when I read this.

Sometimes the Chronicle's Bruce Jenkins can make some interesting and astute observations, but In my wildest dreams I can't imagine anyone thinking that Dusty Baker should be the first person on earth the A's should hire to be their manager instead of the last. That anyone who has read Moneyball would not understand that if anyone in organized baseball personifies everything the A's think is wrong with traditional baseball management practices, it's Dusty Baker. And more amazingly, Jenkins is not alone. Dave Newhouse at the Oakland Tribune suggests the very same thing.

Dusty Baker will not and should not be the next A's manager, guys. It has nothing to do with Billy Beane's ego. It's about belief systems. Their personalities might not clash, and yes, Baker is good in the clubhouse, but besides that, no two management philosophies are more at odds than Billy Beane and Dusty Baker. Beane is all about the rational approach to management; Baker is all about instincts and tradition. It could never, ever work. It doesn't take a wild dream to see that hiring someone who believes the total opposite of what you believe is a bad idea.

I don't mean to step on Zachary Manprin's turf and bash local writers. But I am truly astonished here. How can anybody follow this team and this sport and not understand this obvious fact?

My six-year-old daughter is a better fit to be the next manager of the Oakland A's than Dusty Baker. That's no joke.

2006-10-17 16:38:44
1.   franklin
You've just jinxed yourself with the inevitable A's hiring of Dusty (a proven winner and players' coach with ties to the Bay Area) Baker. Opposites attract, right?
2006-10-17 16:48:51
2.   Ken Arneson
1 I admit I have my superstitions, but even I can't believe that one. That would be like me jinxing the speed of light. It's not gonna change no matter what I say.
2006-10-17 16:52:17
3.   Derek Smart
I thought it was funny enough that Dusty declared his availability for the job. I never dreamed there'd be anyone who had watched the A's for more than five minutes who'd suggest he was an appropriate fit. I've only just escaped from this little corner of hell, so for your sake Ken, I hope there's no one in the A's organization who's as deluded as this pair of writers.
2006-10-17 16:56:08
4.   underdog
Ray Ratto had it right - the A's should hire Ron Washington as their manager. Period.
2006-10-17 17:12:56
5.   Kayaker7
I loved this line, "Baker even has Oakland ties, having played for the A's in the mid-80s near the end of his career..."

You're just grasping at straw, if you have to resort to that.

2006-10-17 17:18:02
6.   Xeifrank
The A's should just use one of those life size cardboard cut-outs for their manager and hook up a microphone to it from Billy Beane's office. As far as who is on the cardboard cut-out, take your pick. My vote is for Don King.
vr, Xei
2006-10-17 17:20:28
7.   Ken Arneson
6 My daughter is much cuter than Don King.
2006-10-17 18:10:51
8.   vockins
2 Uh...

2006-10-17 18:21:06
9.   JohnSeal
Heh heh. I had to stop visiting EiO because of Zach's incredible exploding head, which went off every time he talked about Ken Macha, Susan Slusser, Josh Suchon, or Nick Swisher. I got to the point where I couldn't stand all the anger masquerading as passion.

As for the next A's manager, may I suggest Ernie Riles, with Kevin 'Soup' Campbell replacing Curt Young? Let's see what a pair of REAL ciphers can not do in the post-season.

2006-10-17 19:14:27
10.   Philip Michaels
8 Well, that sounds like a job for Dusty -- you can't have the speed of light slowing down and clogging up the bases.
2006-10-17 19:42:01
11.   Ken Arneson
8 I stand corrected. I am capable of jinxing anything in the universe. Dusty Baker will be the new manager of the A's.

I welcome our new instinct overlords.

2006-10-17 21:32:57
12.   jmoney
How many starts would Rich Harden last if Dusty was the A's manager? I'd put the over/under at 1.5.
2006-10-17 21:37:41
13.   deadguy
In keeping with the spirit of Dusty's comment, I'd like to announce my availability in making out with Jessica Alba. I put my odds at roughly on par with Dusty's chances of getting the job.
2006-10-18 06:59:24
14.   rbj
I've mentioned it elsewhere, but why not just have one of the players manage? Basically all he has to do is fill out the lineup card. Let the pitching coach handle the staff, and the bench coach can decide the 5 times a year that the A's should bunt. From reading some of the players' comments, they pretty much provided their own leadership this past year anyhow.
2006-10-18 08:34:06
15.   Ken Arneson
14 Well, if it's Jason Kendall, he'd never give himself a day off. And if it's not Jason Kendall, he's going to get into a fight with his teammate for giving him a day off. You don't want teammates fighting each other.

Plus, it would make it harder for Billy Beane to trade the guy if the right deal comes along.

Seriously, though, I think the job is more complex than you make it sound. And unless you have an Earl Weaver on your roster who would obviously be better at it than anybody else, why distract a player from his game preparation to do something that someone else could do just as well? Making sure the player is fully prepared to play should be the top priority.

2006-10-18 08:59:36
16.   standuptriple
I've heard Davey Johnson is pretty good at this. Any truth to that? Is he even intersted? How 'bout a manager XMas list with some pros and cons? Your argument for your daughter was a good start.
2006-10-18 11:24:28
17.   KG16
16 - as a Dodger fan, I've seen Davey Johnson up close. Trust me, you don't want Johnson on your bench.

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