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2007 Photo Outtakes: Victory 2008!
2008-01-01 21:56
by Ken Arneson

The bad news: the odds of the A's adding the number "2008" to this banner are only slightly worse than the odds of Rich Harden staying healthy all season, which in turn are only slightly worse than the odds of me growing a second head, being elected President of the Galaxy, and then stealing a spaceship while visiting the planet Damogran.

The good news: if the third of these improbable events happens, the other two will follow as a matter of course.  Therefore, I would like to remind all A's fans in Iowa to vote for me in the caucuses on January 3rd.  It's the first step in a long journey towards Victory 2008!

If you have any questions about what I would do as President beyond my top priority of making sure the A's win the World Series, feel free to ask them in the comments below.   I'll be happy to answer, provided, of course, that doing so would not make me look uncool.

Comments
2008-01-02 17:30:41
1.   Gagne55
Will you remove troops from Iraq? And what is your stance on a national healthcare plan?
2008-01-02 19:59:22
2.   xaphor
The San Francisco Giants would like to know if you want them to sit in a corner and rust or just fall apart where they're standing.
2008-01-02 23:21:14
3.   Ken Arneson
1 (a): I will use the infinite improbability drive to change all the oil in Iraq into chocolate syrup. The rest will take care of itself.
2008-01-02 23:25:06
4.   Ken Arneson
1 (b): My stance is a bit like Rickey Henderson's: a low crouch, with an emphasis on patience and selectivity. We don't just swing at the first healthcare plan we see, if you get what I mean.
2008-01-02 23:28:00
5.   Ken Arneson
2 . Brian Sabean, meet Marvin the Robot. Marvin, this is Brian. I'm sure you will soon find you have a lot in common.
2008-01-03 08:31:11
6.   CMcFood
What will you do about the Texas Rangers announcer they have masquerading as an A's announcer?
2008-01-03 08:41:05
7.   Ken Arneson
6 It's all part of the plan. We aim to temporarily masquerade the entire A's organization as the Texas Rangers, in order to dupe the other general managers into forgetting they are dealing with Billy Freakin' Beane here.

And then just when they've fallen for the scheme and we've made our moves--BAM! We're back to the swagger of being the All-Time Winningest Franchise in the West.

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