Well, Catfish Stew has already covered the Shannon Stewart signing from an analytical perspective and from the informed historical perspective. But what of the inane, of-interest-only-to-me perspective? Who will speak for it?

Oh, all right. I'm game.

Actual conversations between me and my wife this morning:

"Hey, looks like the A's signed Shannon Stewart," I said.

"That's disappointing," my wife replied.

"Disappointing? Are you worried that his recent injury history will make it unlikely for him to have much of an impact with the A's?"

"No."

"Are you upset because it potentially means that Bobby Kielty will be fighting for playing time?"

"Not really."

"Then why is it disappointing?"

"Because I used to date a guy named Shannon Stewart."

"Oh... say, this guy you used to date... the Blue Jays didn't happen to draft him with the 19th pick of the 1992 amateur draft, did they?"

"I don't think so."

"He didn't have a career on-base percentage of .364 and a .439 slugging percentage?"

"I'm pretty sure he did not."

"Get a lot of MVP consideration in 2003 following his trade to Minnesota?"

"No."

"Oh. Then it's probably not the same guy then."

And... scene.