So I was watching the A's-Devil Rays game on Sunday, and my six-year-old daughter asks, "Who's that guy?"
"He's a new player on the A's," I said. "Chris Snelling."
"Who??? Chris Smelly???" she replied, in obvious delight at the possibilities.
"No, not Smelly. Snelling. He doesn't stink, unlike some other A's hitters I could name."
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When an entire lineup seems to stink, it's sometimes hard to tell for sure if the entire lineup really stinks, or if the team is just running into a series of good performances by the opposing team. But all it takes is one new player (Dan Johnson) or two (Chris Snelling, Jack Cust) to be inserted into that lineup and not stink, to confirm that, yup, the rest of the lineup stinks.
But even the successes of these three recent additions to the A's lineup may be misleading. The whole lineup might still stink, but the stench is simply being masked by the even more malodorous pitching staffs of Tampa Bay and Kansas City.
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But who are we to talk? Catfish Stew must not smell too good itself. Consider:
Ken Arneson is currently 4,650 miles away from Ryan Armbrust
Ryan Armbrust is currently 3,900 miles away from Philip Michaels
Philip Michaels is currently 7,100 miles away from Ken Arneson.
Nobody on Catfish Stew wants to be anywhere near each other. And clearly, you especially want as much distance as possible from that putrid Ken Arneson fellow. We won't reveal his exact location to protect the innocent, but this picture was taken by him yesterday high above a remote northern ocean: